Page 20 of Haven

Molly has started getting worse again, and this morning she’s in the same condition she was before we started the antibiotics last week.

I try to keep a smile on my face as I check her temperature, cool her down with a wet washcloth, get her to drink some chicken broth, and give her the morning pills.

“You don’t have to try to fool me,” she says in a slightly cracked voice after she’s managed to get the pills down. “I know I’m not doing good.”

“You’re doing okay.”

She shakes her head, her blue eyes sober on my face. “They’re not working, are they?”

I shrug. “We don’t know that for sure.”

“Yes, we do. It’s okay, Faith. It was only ever a small hope anyway.”

“A small hope is better than no hope. I’ll get you some better antibiotics if I need to.”

“You can’t make that long trip just on the off-chance you can find what I need.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Jack won’t let you.”

“It’s not Jackson’s choice to make.” My voice is cool, but she’ll know it’s not directed at her.

“Well, you’ll have to convince him unless you’re willing to risk him barricading you in a closet to keep you safe.” She’s almost smiling now.

I shake my head and roll my eyes, trying not to smile back. “Just let him try something like that. We’ll see who comes out on top.”

I wish I hadn’t said those words. I was on top of Jackson just last night, riding him while he rubbed my clit until I came over and over again. I flush at the memory and then hate myself for being so silly.

Maybe Molly sees something on my face. She asks in a pseudocasual tone, “How are things going with him anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. Just that he seems to have an extra spring in his step lately, and whenever he stops by to see me, it seems like he’s on the verge of smiling.”

I frown. Jackson has appeared about the same during the days to me. It’s only at night that we’re having sex more often. “Jackson doesn’t smile.”

“I know! That’s why it’s noteworthy. I thought maybe something was developing.”

I give her another eye roll and stop myself from overreacting. “Nothing is developing. You’re imagining things.”

“Okay. Maybe.” She doesn’t look convinced.

“You really think I’d fall for a hard, stoic asshole like that?”

“I think you know him really well,” Molly says very softly. “So you know there’s a lot more to him than that.”

She’s right about that. I know he’s more than he shows to the world. Just like I am. Just like everyone who’s still trying to survive in the compost pile this world has become since Impact.

I clear my throat. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Right now the only thing I care about is getting you better. If I have to go on another run for antibiotics, I will.”

Her expression changes. “I don’t want you risking your life for me, Faith. I don’t want anyone doing that. It’s all right to just let me go.”

My throat tightens so abruptly it aches. I can barely swallow over it. “Stop talking nonsense. I’m not going to let you go.”

***

I’M UPSET WHEN I LEAVEMolly and don’t want to talk to anyone, so instead of helping in the garden or with the laundry, I wander into the kitchen where the breakfast dishes are still unwashed.

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