Page 40 of Princess

But it would be nice to be needed. To be seen as something other than a sheltered princess. For a few minutes earlier, it felt like it could happen, but now that moment is lost.

* * *

The next days pass quickly and are better than I would have expected.

Grant and I both work hard. He helps guard the perimeter and assists with the construction projects, and I pull weeds in the garden and learn how to bake bread. There are more people my age here than I’ve encountered since I locked down in the bunker, and I start to make some friends. And I enjoy the sense of community. Eating meals together. And gathering to read out loud from books in the evening.

I don’t spend a lot of time with Grant during the days, but every evening we have sex as soon as we get into bed—and sometimes again if we wake up in the middle of the night. It’s always hot and rough and urgent. A carnal meeting of needs that neither one of us can speak out loud.

On and off, I worry about our people trapped in the bunker, but they have plenty of supplies for a few days, and it makes sense to give the Wolf Packs a chance to splinter or move on their own. Overall, I’m not unhappy, and it’s the morning of the fourth day before I realize so much time has passed.

I miss swimming every morning although I’ll never admit it because it feels so selfish. Instead, I wake up early to work in the large farm garden before the sun gets too hot.

This morning, I’m working with a freckled, gangly guy that everyone calls Ham. I like him a lot. His smile reminds me of Noah, and he always makes me laugh. Today he’s been telling me about a girl he’s interested in, and I’ve been trying to give him advice. Not that I’m an expert, but at least I have experience being a girl.

“Your boyfriend wants you,” Ham says after a while, breaking into my suggestions about how to show the girl that he likes her.

I straighten up with a jerk and turn to look in the direction he indicates. Sure enough, Grant is standing near the back door of the main house. He makes a curt summoning gesture with his hand.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I say for no particular reason. It’s true. Boyfriend is not at all the right word for Grant. I’m not sure what exactly he is to me.

Ham snorts. “Okay. Whatever you want to call him. He always looks pissed when you hang out with me, and right now he’s getting impatient and blaming me. So go talk to your man before he decides to punch me for the sheer hell of it.”

I can’t help but laugh at his wry words although they also make me blush. I push myself to my feet, wipe some of the dirt off my jeans, and then head over to where Grant is waiting.

He’s frowning as I approach.

“What’s the matter?” I ask, suddenly getting worried. He usually doesn’t come find me while we’re working during the day.

“Nothing. Just that we’re taking off. It’s been more than three days, so we’re going to drive out to the bunker and scout out what’s happening.”

“Oh, okay.” I glance down at my dirty clothes and wish I had something clean to change into. “Just let me wash up real quick, and I’ll be ready.”

“I’m going with Jackson. You can stay here.” The words come out clipped but not hard. More like a simple passing of information.

But they feel like a blow to me anyway. I actually take a step backward. “What? What are you talking about? Of course I’m going to go.”

“There’s no reason for you to. It’s just a scouting trip. We’ll be coming back here to figure out our next steps.”

“But those are my people in the bunker. Not Jackson’s. I have more reason to go than he does. I’m not going to be left out of this.”

“You’re not being left out, Olivia.” He only says my name like that when he’s getting annoyed with me but trying to keep his cool. “We’re going to drive an hour. Get out and look around. And come back. There’s nothing you need to do on this trip.”

“So you’ll be back in three hours?”

“Maybe.” His face tightens just slightly. “We might need to stay longer if we can’t get a good sense of things right away. But the most it will be is overnight.”

“Overnight!” I gasp, so upset now I’m almost shaking from it. “I’m definitely going with you. What the fuck did you train me for if you’re never going to let me use it?”

“I trained you to protect yourself when you need to,” he grits out. “That’s not right now. If you go, I’ll have to worry about you.”

“I don’t need you to worry about me. I’m perfectly capable of doing what needs to be done. Why the hell won’t you ever let me?”

His jaw tightens. For a moment, I think he might actually lose his temper, but he doesn’t. Instead, he asks coolly, “And what exactly could you contribute to this trip? I don’t need you getting in the way.”

I stare at him blindly for a few seconds, my body throbbing as if from physical pain. That’s how much the words hurt. My throat closes up, and my eyes burn.

It would be nice if there was something I could say in response to the way he just wounded me, but I can’t shape a single word. Not without bursting into tears.

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