Page 41 of Princess

And I’m not about to let him see that.

So I don’t respond at all. I turn around and walk away from him.

* * *

He and Jackson don’t get back that night. I wait all evening after the chores are done and while we’re eating dinner and afterward at the evening gathering. I sit through it all and keep listening for the sounds of them returning.

They don’t. So I have to go to bed alone.

It’s a terrible night. I toss and turn and mentally imagine everything I should have said to him during our argument and then visualize all the awful things that could be happening to him. Right now. At this very moment.

He might die. I might lose him forever. I don’t know how to even wrap my mind around that thought.

I’m sick and exhausted and trying not to fall apart the following morning. I work in the garden for several hours, and then I wander around, looking for something else to do. I’ve got to keep working, or I’ll have an emotional breakdown.

Faith is in the kitchen washing dishes, so I go to help her.

She slants me a quick look and evidently sees my mental state on my face. “They’ll be fine. They’ll be back anytime now.”

“I hope so.”

“They know what they’re doing, and they’re not going to do anything stupid. Jackson knows what he’ll have coming to him if he does.”

The ice-cold warning in her voice makes me huff. “I don’t have that sort of faith in Grant. He’s likely to do something stupid. He won’t care if it means I’m left all alone.” My voice quavers just slightly on the last word.

Faith pauses in rinsing the plate she holds. Her expression softens slightly. “He’ll care. He’s not going to leave you alone.”

“I hope not.” I stare down at the dishrag I’m using to dry the dishes she passes me.

“They’ll be back soon.”

We’re silent for a minute as we work. Then Faith says in a conversational tone, “I don’t really know how you manage to deal with Grant. I used to think Jackson was hard, but he’s a big teddy bear compared to Grant. Doesn’t the man ever unclench?”

This time, when I give a breathy huff, it’s with real, if tempered, amusement. “Not really. He’s always wound so tight. Almost impenetrable. I don’t know how to…” I trail off, realizing what I’m saying and wondering if I even have the right to give voice to it.

Maybe it’s not my job to be there for Grant that way even though it’s what I want.

“I don’t think anyone really knows. They just feel it out and do the best they can.” Faith turns her head to give me a little smile. “I see it a lot now. People who in the old world might have been the strong, silent type but would still be soft with the people they loved, don’t really know how to do that anymore. Be soft. Open up. Because the world feels so much like a war zone where you always have to be on guard. Jackson was kind of like that before. And honestly I was even more like that than he was. I was so afraid to let go—even a little, even with him. It took time, but we managed it. I think you and Grant will too.”

The words make me feel better. Deeply. But a rush of self-consciousness warms my skin. I stare down at the dishrag again. “I don’t even know… if he wants to… I mean, we’re not even… that.”

Shit, I can’t even get that much said.

Faith laughs softly. Wryly. “Oh please. You two are definitelythat.”

I’m not sure what I would have said after that. Maybe I would have finally admitted a few things—even just to myself. But someone comes striding into the room just then. He heads straight for Faith.

She’s barely managed to turn around when Jackson is scooping her up in a big hug and spinning her around with the momentum of his warm greeting.

She laughs and hugs him back.

My heart leaps. Because if Jackson is back, that means Grant must be too.

“Is Grant—?”

“He’s fine,” Jackson says, thankfully recognizing my worry despite his preoccupation with Faith. “He’s still out by the Jeep.”

The first thing Jackson did was run in here to find Faith. He clearly didn’t like being away from her even for less than twenty-four hours.

---