Usually Cal wakes up every few hours during the night to add wood and stoke the flames to get it going again, but he must have slept through tonight.
It’s no big deal. He’s probably exhausted. He hasn’t gotten uninterrupted sleep for weeks now. I’m perfectly capable of refreshing the fire, so I’m not going to wake him up.
I swing my legs over and plant my feet on the floor, but as soon as I put weight on my ankle, I wince. My ankle has improved, but it’s still painful to walk on.
It doesn’t matter. I’m going to do the fire tonight so Cal can sleep.
I limp over to the pile of chopped wood Cal has been keeping inside next to the door and grab two, hugging them to my chest as I wobble back to the stove.
My teeth are chattering like jackhammers now. I can’t believe how cold it is in here.
I’m working on opening the stove when the wood is suddenly taken out of my hands.
“What the fuck you doin’, girl?” He sounds grumpy but not mean.
I try and fail to contain my shivering. “I’m working on the fire.”
“My job.” He adds the wood to the stove and then goes to get one more piece before stoking the fire until it’s blazing nicely. “Get your little ass back in bed.”
For some reason, I giggle. I have no idea why I do.
He shakes his head and scowls at me while he keeps poking at the fire. “Shoulda woke me up. It’s freezing in here.”
“I just woke up myself. I didn’t know it was so cold.” I’m hugging my chest and rocking back and forth, trying to keep warm in the heat now radiating out from the fire. “And I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.”
“My job.”
I try to argue, but all that comes out is a weird whimper through my chattering.
He closes the stove and puts down the poker. Then he turns and gazes down at me. It’s mostly dark in the room, so it’s hard to see his expression. But it feels like there might be something soft in his eyes.
Something I really want to see.Feel.
“Get back in bed, baby,” he murmurs in a thick voice that shakes me down to my core.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” I have no idea where I get the courage to ask that, but the words come out without volition.
He grows very still.
“Please? It’s so much warmer with you.”
He shakes his head again, and I assume that’s a no. But before I react to the disappointment, he reaches down and picks me up into his arms. He carries me over to his bed.
Everything inside me is vibrating with joy and excitement as he lays me down in his bed on the opposite side of the stove.
He doesn’t kiss me, no matter what he might do in my fantasies. Instead, he settles my body in front of his so he can spoon me the way he did on that day I almost froze.
His body is so much warmer than mine. So much bigger and stronger and harder. I love the feel of it. I always believed I was a person who doesn’t like to be touched, but that belief is clearly wrong when it comes to Cal. Because this feels better than anything I’ve ever known.
After a couple of minutes, my teeth stop chattering, and a few minutes after that I stop shivering completely.
Neither one of us says anything for a really long time, but I don’t fall back asleep. I don’t want to miss out on any of this. I’m pretty sure he’s not asleep either although his breathing is slow and even and he only shifts position occasionally.
Finally I ask without segue or planning, “When did you buy this place?”
He pauses a moment before he answers, like he might be surprised by the question. “Had it a long time. Ever since I found out about Derek. Wanted a place nearby him, and I got a good deal on this property since it was so run-down and so far out of town.”
Derek was eight when his mom finally told Cal that they had a child. I suddenly wonder how that must have made him feel.