Page 62 of Embers

I’m trying to think of something to distract myself when Anna comes over.

“Hey, are you really okay?” I search her face for any signs of hidden distress.

Anna has definitely come a long way—even in the months since I’ve joined up—but she doesn’t have the instincts for this kind of thing that other people do, and she’s still not entirely comfortable with it.

She was an English teacher before Impact, and she doesn’t have a violent bone in her body. She does just fine with us. Maria doesn’t expect everyone to be equally skilled. But Anna is really not cut out for physical confrontation. Not even as much as I am.

“Yeah. I think so. How badly did I mess up?”

“Not that badly at all. It could have happened to anyone. Just maybe keep an eye out for doors when you’re in that kind of situation.”

She nods. She’s got her curly hair pulled back in a messy bun at the nape of her neck. It never wants to stay in place. “Yeah. That was stupid.”

“It wasn’t that—”

“I’m sure it wasn’t terrible, but I’ve been with Maria for more than a year now. Surely I should be better than this by now.”

“You’re doing great.”

“I’m doing okay. I wouldn’t call my performance great. But I want to do better. Do you think you could help me learn some moves I could do if I get grabbed like that again?”

“Of course! I’d be happy to. We can start right now.” I’m actually excited since it’s exactly the kind of distraction I’ve been needing for the afternoon.

“I don’t want to use up all your free time.”

“Honestly, I don’t want free time. I’d rather not have it. So let’s work on it now if that’s okay with you.”

Anna’s blue eyes are worried as they scan my face. I can see a kind of fond anxiety there. I’ve gotten closer to her than most of the other women in this group, and she knows the perfectly controlled front I put on for the world isn’t really what’s going on inside me. To my relief, she doesn’t question me. She says, “Okay. Let’s do it.”

* * *

We work for a couple of hours, practicing moves and drilling to improve Anna’s response time. Having me role-play her attacker isn’t ideal since I’m so small, but I’m sure one of the larger women would be willing to help us later on.

Cal did all this for me over the years, so I share as much of my training with her as I can.

She seems happy with the results. Appreciative. And she probably would have been willing to continue the training session all afternoon, but one of the guards calls out for her eventually, telling her Mack is waiting at the perimeter of the camp.

Anna visibly perks up at this news, but she turns to me apologetically.

Before she can get anything said, I tell her, “Go on. We’ve done enough for today.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. Go have fun. We can work more on it later.”

She starts walking in the direction that Mack is waiting for her, but then she turns to look at me over her shoulder. “You sure you’re okay?”

I laugh. “I’m fine, Anna. Thanks for the concern, but you’re allowed to enjoy yourself. I’ll see you later.”

Her smile warms her entire face before she picks up her speed.

I shake my head as I watch her go. She’s got something going on with Mack. They get together every time they cross paths. But I actually have no idea what the relationship is. It can’t be too serious or surely Anna would leave our group so she could be with Mack more often.

Maybe it’s just sex.

That’s fine. Perfectly natural.

It would be nice. To have a man—even just for sex. But it’s still not even a possibility for me.

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