Page 26 of Hero

“Be back by midafternoon.”

“I’ll be back when I’m back.”

“Be back by midafternoon or I’m going to take the truck and come looking for you.”

I scowl but don’t bother to argue.

If I’m allowed to do what I want, then so is Zed. If he wants to come find me if I don’t meet his deadline for returning, then that’s what he’s going to do.

So I’ll be back by midafternoon.

It would be silly to waste the gas.

* * *

Buddy and I set off as soon as the sun starts to rise. Zed stands at the cabin door while we begin walking, glowering at my back.

I ignore him, although his bristling bothers me more than it should.

He’s never been unreasonable about my decisions before. Maybe fucking me makes him think he now has some sort of claim on me.

That happens sometimes, doesn’t it? Men get possessive and controlling if their dicks become part of a relationship. I didn’t think Zed was like that, but what the hell do I know? I never paid much attention to his relationship with Marie. I wish I could remember better what he was like with her.

I’m not actually sure he was all that into her. They didn’t seem to be in love. It was more a practical thing after a couple of ill-advised hookups.

Maybe that’s what Zed and I will become now.

The idea makes me ill, so I shake it off, focusing on the action of my muscles as I walk and the cool morning air moving in and out of my lungs with every deep breath.

“Why did I do it, Buddy?” I say out loud. “It was stupid. I should have just controlled myself. A few minutes of sex isn’t worth ruining everything for.”

Buddy looks over his shoulder at me, his eyes bright and interested, but he has no wisdom to offer my situation.

It’s not like having a one-night stand in the world that used to be. Back then, there might be consequences, but they wouldn’t likely put your entire well-being at risk unless you weren’t safe about protection. This is different. Zed and Rina are the only people I have. If I mess things up with Zed, I lose everything.

Everything.

I’ll have nothing left.

I can’t let myself descend too far into predictions of doom. It will distract me, and I can’t afford any distraction when I’m away from the cabin. Right now Buddy and I are on an old hiking trail that winds through the woods, and there’s not another soul around. But that could change at any moment, and I need to be prepared.

I manage to control my mind enough to focus on my surroundings for the rest of the hike to Givens. The town is as empty as it normally is, and I stop by my old house for just a minute before I head back to the block where I left off last time.

I spend the next four hours searching houses. I find a scattering of canned food and supplies, and I gather it all up in the bags I brought with me. I leave them on a stretch of pavement in what used to be a main intersection in town as I decide to search one more house before I leave.

Zed wants me back by midafternoon, which means I need to leave pretty soon. The sun is high in the sky already. It’s got to be around noon, and it takes three hours to get back.

But I can take the time to do one more house before I leave. I’d like to make it worth my time.

I choose a big Victorian where the mayor used to live. It’s in shambles, none of the rooms still intact, but with some digging, I manage to get down into the former basement.

Mother lode.

There must have been shelves packed full of stuff down there. I find bedding and clothes and books and canned food and bottled water. All of it has been protected from the elements by the ruins of the house on top of it.

It’s far too much for me to carry, but I can drive the truck back here and load it up. This haul will make using the gas worthwhile. No question.

I’m pleased and excited as Buddy and I head back to the intersection where I left the stuff I already scavenged.

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