Page 59 of Hero

“I know that. Iknowit. But I had to leave you to die.” He sounds as raspy as sandpaper. He’s not fully in control of his emotions even now. “I had to… leave you.”

“To save Rina.”

“Yes, to save Rina. I know there was no other choice. I know it was probably the right thing to do. But it didn’t feel right. It felt… it felt like I ripped myself apart. I had to leave you. And then you’d be dead. And I would have just let it happen.” His body is suddenly shaking helplessly. So dramatically it scares me.

I squeeze him tightly and nuzzle his neck. “It didn’t happen. It didn’t, Zed. I’m okay. And so is Rina. And so are you.”

“I don’t feel okay.”

“Me either. I still feel like I was supposed to die back there. And now I’m set adrift. Moorless on the sea. And I have no idea what’s happening or what’s going to happen or what’s supposed to happen.”

“That’s how I feel too.” His shaking has started subsiding already. His breathing slows. He’s probably purposefully trying to relax his body.

We lie holding each other for several more minutes until my heartbeat has slowed and his tension has softened.

“I think this town seems pretty good,” I say at last. “But if we don’t like it, we don’t have to stay. There are other communities around that would take us in too.”

“This is probably the best place for Rina. I was talking to some guy about the other communities in the area earlier. There are more kids here and a more organized school. And it kind of feels like Givens to me. The same kind of small town. So I like what I see so far. But if you don’t like it—”

“I do like it. So far, it seems great. But I think we might have some options if we need them. We aren’t… we aren’t stuck.”

“Yeah. We aren’t stuck.” His arms have finally loosened, and his hand has started moving, stroking my hair and my back.

It feels so good I sigh audibly. It’s almost a moan.

Since I’m still lying on top of him, I feel his cock twitch against my middle.

An answering ache pulses between my legs. I should be too exhausted for sex, but I’m so incredibly needy right now. Everything inside me needs all of who he is.

“So maybe we’ll give it a try for a couple of weeks. Then we can decide whether we really want to stay here.”

“That sounds good. It’s so strange. To feel… safe. We’re behind walls. And armed guards. In the middle of a community. It’s so… strange.”

“For me too.” His hand has strayed farther down, and it’s cupping my bottom. It still feels idle rather than intentional. “I suppose we’ll get used to it eventually.”

“Yeah.” I shift over him. He’s getting even harder. I want to rub against it. “Zed.”

“It’s okay if you don’t feel like it. After the day we’ve had. The days. I know my dick has a mind of its own, but I get it if you’re not up for—”

“I am.” I squeeze a hand between our bodies so I can stroke his cock through his flannel pajama pants. “I want to too.”

“Thank God,” he mutters thickly, rolling us over so he’s on top. Then he kisses me deep and hard and needy. “Esther.”

We kiss for a few minutes, but neither of us have the energy for extended foreplay tonight. Soon we’re fumbling with our clothes, and then I’m parting my legs and he’s lining himself up at my entrance.

He pushes into my pussy with a long, uninhibited groan. I wrap my legs around him, and we move together, fast and raw and clumsy. I hold on to his shoulders. Then dig my nails into the back of his neck as an orgasm breaks fast and deep. I think he tries to hold out as my inner muscles clench around him, but he can’t.

He falls out of rhythm, grunting out rough words that sound like “Esther” and “Yes” and “Please.”

He pulls out at the last second with an agonized sound and comes on my belly instead. Then he collapses on top of me. It’s messy but exactly what I need.

His weight is strength and security and shelter for me. Home.

“Esther.” He’s still gasping, his face buried against the curve of my neck and shoulder.

I slide my hands up to stroke his head. “Yes. It’s… me.”

His body is fully relaxed now. I actually think he dozes off for a few minutes before he jerks back awake and rolls off me, getting up to dampen a towel and wipe off my stomach and between my legs.

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