Page 64 of Hero

I sniff. Nod my head repeatedly. “That’s what I want too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want you to be my… my man, and I want both you and Rina to be mine. Really mine.”

He finally stands up so he can join me on the bench and take me in his arms. After he kisses me again, he says, “We both already are.”

* * *

A few weeks later, I return to our little guesthouse when I finish a morning shift in the community garden.

I work there four days a week. For my other two workdays, I help out with the school, teaching basic science to various ages of kids. I’d assumed they would have their school needs covered already, but they were thrilled to have someone who’d had as many higher-level science courses as I’ve had since that was a major gap in their expertise. It’s not enough teaching to be my full-time duty yet, but I don’t mind also working in the garden.

I’ve been excited about both jobs since they’re something I can contribute and be part of building a life here. I’m sure eventually they’ll get tiring and tedious, but they haven’t been that yet. It’s so different to feel safe most of the time. Be a part of a community. Because of that, nearly everything I’ve done for the past weeks has felt fresh and exciting.

Zed, Rina, and I are still living in the guesthouse, but we’ve picked out a house from the many unoccupied ones in town. It’s not in great shape after years of neglect, but we’ve already started clearing out debris and repairing damage. In a few more weeks, it should be in good enough shape for us to move into.

It’s small but has three bedrooms, in case Rina ends up getting a little brother or sister one day.

It’s about a half hour past noon, and I already had lunch, so I wash up and change out of my dirty clothes, putting on a pair of worn sweats and an oversized T-shirt. I’m worn out from manual labor all morning, and I have a couple of hours to rest before Rina gets out of school.

The girl has gotten over her initial shyness. She now has no fewer than five best friends and is happier than I’ve ever seen her.

Buddy was hanging out with me in the garden—sleeping in the shade rather than contributing to the work. But he’s happy to be back. He laps up a bowl full of water and curls into a tight ball in the old dog bed we salvaged from one of the empty houses in town.

I stretch out on the bed and close my eyes. Put a hand on my stomach.

Sometime last week, I realized that the knot of anxiety that’s been lodged there for years had stopped churning. I could barely even feel it.

It’s not gone for good. It still tightens occasionally when I get worried about the future or scared about the unknown. But it’s not a constant presence like it was. I don’t feel it now. I feel… good. Sleepy and relaxed.

I smile as I think about Zed and Rina, and I’m asleep in just a few minutes.

* * *

About an hour later, I wake up when the bed shifts, and I breathe in the familiar scent of Zed.

“What time is it?” I mumble.

He pulls me into a loose embrace. “We’ve still got an hour or so before we pick up Rina.”

“Oh. That’s good.” I nestle against him. “How was your shift?”

He’s been doing half his shifts fishing at a nearby river and the other half he spends as a guard at the perimeter wall. Since he’s new, he gets the worst guard shifts. He begins in the wee hours of the morning and doesn’t get off until now.

It makes for a strange daily schedule, but none of us have any complaints about that. He’ll eventually get put on better shifts so we can follow a more regular schedule.

“It was fine. Long and boring, but that’s the best kind.”

“Yeah.” I inhale deeply, still nuzzling at his shoulder. He must have washed up like I did before he climbed into bed. He smells more like soap than usual, and he’s wearing boxers and an undershirt.

He’s already getting hard. I can feel his erection against my lower belly.

“I was napping,” I say, sliding a hand down to squeeze his cock.

He huffs at the pressure of my hand, but there’s a smile in his voice. “I know you were. If you want to keep sleeping, we can do that.”

“It feels like you want to do something else.”

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