Page 14 of Citadel

“Okay. Good plan.” She’s watching my face in the flickering firelight. “You never seemed to care much about how you look.”

“I don’t really care. It’s always been helpful that I’m not very pretty.”

“You are prettier than you think you are.”

I blink at her in confusion. “Really? You’ve always acted like I’m not.”

“I haven’t wanted you to be. It felt safer for you if you weren’t. But I’d feel bad if I…” Her face twists, and her eyes tear up slightly. “I don’t want you to think you’re not pretty. Or that men won’t like how you look. Or women, if you prefer.”

I choke on a laugh. “I like men, Breanna.”

“Yeah, I figured. But I don’t want your life to be limited. By anything. And definitely not by me. You’re twenty. You’re not a kid. If you want to explore other parts of yourself, I’m not going to stand in your way. Just be careful with men. Please be careful.” She glances into the dark toward where Cole is prowling.

“Would you stop that?” I hiss in a whisper. “It’s not like that between us!”

“Then why is it only after he’s shown up that you started thinking about growing out your hair?”

“It’s not about him. He doesn’t think about me that way. How could he when you’re right there being gorgeous?”

Breanna rolls her eyes. “Men don’t all like the same thing, just like women don’t like the same thing. But I meant what I said earlier. He’s one of the few men I’ve met who apparently won’t take advantage of our vulnerability, but that doesn’t mean he’s a good one. He’s a leaver. No matter what you’re feeling, don’t give yourself to him.”

“I’m not going to—”

“Just be careful. Maybe if we can get to a town or a stable community, you’ll have more choices in men. If you want one, I want you to have one. I don’t want you to miss out on anything that would make you happier. But please don’t choose him.”

My cheeks are burning. I keep checking the dark to make sure he’s not hearing us. We’re so soft I can’t imagine that he can.

“Maybe you can find a man too,” I say, partly because I want to say it and partly because I need to change the subject. “One you want, I mean.”

She makes a face and blows out a breath. “I just want us both to be safe. If it takes a man to make us so, then I’ll take one. But I can’t imagine there being a man that I want… just to want.”

“You never know.”

She smiles and gives me a half hug. “Right. You never know.”

3

The next morning,I wake up at dawn like normal, blinking as I orient myself to where we are.

There’s no more salt or fish in the air. It smells like dirt. Foliage. And Cole.

He must be close.

I sit up and see him standing a few feet away. It feels like he was looking in my direction, but when my eyes reach his face, he’s gazing out at the river. His skin is wet, still streaming with water, so he must have cleaned himself in the river this morning.

“Is it time to go?” I ask, my voice still hoarse from sleeping outside.

“Not yet. Safer to wait until it’s light. Your sister can sleep for a few more minutes.”

“Okay.” I’m glad of a reprieve from waking Breanna up quite yet. She’s never been a morning person, and it’s worse on this endless hike. I get up and do some stretches. I slept in my clothes, so there’s nothing to do but put on my shoes. I wander over to the riverbank so I can splash water on my face.

When I’m done, I stay crouched on the bank, trailing my hand in the water. I like how it feels. I like the sound of moving water. I like the quiet of the morning. And that my body isn’t aching at the moment.

Then out of nowhere, a beast attacks me.

That’s all I’m aware of. It’s some sort of beast. Big, dark, and covered with fur. Snout and tusks and a vicious growling sound.

And it’s on me before I even see where it came from or know what the hell is happening.

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