Page 28 of Citadel

Since they have the building that was formerly the library still filled with books, I get in the habit of scanning titles after lunch, picking out one that looks good, and taking it just outside the wall to the overgrown area that used to be the town park to read in a shady spot on the grass.

It’s an indulgence I never dreamed of being allowed again.

One afternoon, a few months after arriving, I’m reading in my normal spot when I hear a voice calling my name. “Del!”

I know that voice.

Dropping my book on the ground, I jump to my feet and peer around, searching for the source of the voice.

He’s there. Standing on the crumbling remains of the paved path that ran through the park.

Cole.

He looks exactly like he did three months ago, except he must have shaved more recently since there’s hardly any hair on his head and none on his jaw. He’s even got the same clothes on—beat-up camo pants and a sweaty gray T-shirt. His large pack is still slung over his shoulder.

I’m not exactly sure what gets into me since I’m not a particularly effusive person. But, whatever the reason, I start running toward him, my pace building up to a sprint in my excitement.

When I reach him, I can barely stop my momentum. I fling myself at him, wrapping both arms around him in a tight hug.

I don’t think he expects such a greeting. He braced himself before I reached him so he doesn’t flinch or step backward at the force of my impact. But he just stands there as I hug him. Hard. Tense. Frozen for a few moments like he’s stunned. Like he has no idea how to respond.

Then suddenly his arms go around me in a crushing embrace. For a few seconds I can barely breathe, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Right now—only in this moment—it feels like Cole needs me. Like he needs what I can give him.

I revel in the feeling until he finally unwinds his arms. I step back, smiling and flushed and a little embarrassed by my enthusiastic greeting. “You came back.”

“Told you I would.” His eyes are moving up and down my body like they did only a couple of times before. Not just a routine inspection of my health and appearance. Almost hungry. “You look different.”

“I do?” I blink up at him, wondering what he sees in me. Running a restless hand over my head, I feel the new growth of my hair. It’s still very short, but I noticeably have hair now when I didn’t before. “I haven’t shaved my hair.”

“Yeah, I see that. That’s not it.” He searches my face. Dips his gaze lower down my body. “You look…”

I shift from foot to foot, glancing down at my clothes. A kind woman in town gave me some of her old clothes that haven’t fit her ever since she had a baby, so I actually have a few things that are new to me, although definitely not new in age. The jeans I’m wearing fit me better than my old ones. They’re soft and faded and make me look like I actually have a few curves. My top is chocolate brown with short cap sleeves and a scoop neckline. I like how it makes my shoulders and neck look—long and graceful and almost elegant, like I could have been a ballerina or something.

I never used to feel pretty, but I almost do now—with the way Cole’s eyes are moving over my face and body.

“I look what?” I prompt when he doesn’t finish his sentence.

“You look… nice.”

Nice.

What a compliment.

I shake off the disappointment since it would be ridiculous for Cole to suddenly think of me as a desirable woman when he probably just thinks of me as a clingy kid.

Whatever silly daydreams I might have indulged over the past few months, I’m not foolish enough to actually expect them to come true.

“Oh.” I give him a cursory inspection. “Well, you look the same.”

He lets out an amused huff. “I am the same.”

“Any luck with your brother?”

“Not really. Stopped in one town that told me a gang matching their description was heading inland, which makes sense since there’s hardly anything left on the coast. So I figured I’d stop here to check on you before heading out again.”

My heart sinks just a little at the thought of him leaving again. “Okay. I’m glad you did. But you don’t need to check on us. We’re doing fine.”

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