Page 55 of Citadel

He turns me back around to face him, staring down at me with that same silent intensity that’s always characterized the man.

“Thanks,” I say again since the silence is getting to me.

“You’re welcome.” His voice is always gruff, but this is the thickest I’ve ever heard it.

I automatically glance down. See a bulge in his pants.

He’s hard.

I bite my bottom lip, determined not to act like a fluttery, inexperienced girl. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m different now, no matter how much my body still reacts to his. “Seriously? Tending my injuries turns you on?”

He gives a huff that might be dry amusement. “Not your injuries. Just you mostly naked.”

I take a weird quick breath through my nose before I can answer. “I’m not naked.”

“Might as well be.” His eyes cut down to my chest before they return to my face.

I can’t help it. I glance down too. I’m not wearing a bra. I don’t really need one most of the time. The curve of my breasts and the jut of my nipples are clearly visible through the thin, damp fabric of my tank.

“Cole.”

“I know. Hands off. You don’t trust me anymore.” He doesn’t sound resentful. Mostly just resigned.

“I don’t. And this isn’t really a good time for fucking anyway.”

“I know that. Doesn’t stop my body from wanting yours.” He inhales, raising his shoulders, and then blows it out. “Are you gonna pretend your body doesn’t still want mine?”

Shit. He knows me too well. Even after all this time. Even when he has no business knowing anything about me anymore. He can read me like a book. “It doesn’t matter what my body wants. I’m more than just my body.”

“I know you are, baby.”

I suck in a gasp at the endearment. At the way it makes me feel. I retreat from him slightly. “I can’t do this again, Cole. I’m not going to.”

“Okay. I get it.” He takes a purposeful step back from me, the way I did from him. “I’m not gonna push.”

I believe that too. The problem is merely his presence is a constant temptation. Making me want to do things I shouldn’t want to do.

But I told him the truth. I’m more than my body. And if I ever decide to fuck him again, it’s going to be because all of me wants it.

Not just my body.

“It’s late,” I say, wanting to move us past the tense moment. “We should get some sleep.”

He digs in his pack and pulls out a blanket. It’s the same one he carried two years ago that he let me use on our trip away from the coast.

“What will you use?” I ask him.

He cocks his head just slightly, as if wordlessly asking if I’m serious.

Of course. He’s not planning to sleep.

“You can’t stay awake all night on guard,” I tell him. “We need to take turns.”

“And how are you planning to protect us from intruders?”

I roll my eyes. “I’ll wake you up. What the hell do you think?”

This makes him give one of those dry huffs again. To my surprise, he relents. “All right. You sleep first. I’ll keep watch and wake you after a while.”

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