Page 85 of Citadel

“She’s tough,” he mutters, evidently seeing something on my face. “She’s gone through it, but she’s tough. She’ll be okay.”

“Yeah. I know.” I let out a sigh and reach for his hand, needing to feel it clasping mine, needing it to never let mine go. “But I want her to be better than okay.”

“Give her time. I thought for a long time that I’d never even be okay, but now I’m…” He trails off, squeezing my hand.

“Now what?”

He clears his throat with a sheepish expression. I don’t think he’s going to answer, but then he finally says, “Now I’m happier than I ever knew I could be. Breanna might get there too. We all take our own path.”

I nod and smile up at him, just slightly wobbly. I do feel better because he’s right. People aren’t trapped by who they’ve always been. They can change. Grow. Be remade. Breanna has always protected me from the worst of life’s ugliness, and she’s suffered because of it. But she’s done it out of love—because of how much she loves me.

And love is never poured into a vacuum. One day maybe she can find her own safe haven, the way Cole and I have found ours.

“So…” I pull to a stop, looking up at Cole’s face, still holding his hand.

“What is it, baby?”

“So you’re… I’m right that you’re going to… stay.”

He lets out an exhalation of fond amusement. “Yes. I’m going to stay.”

“Okay. Good.”

“In fact, you’re never going to be rid of me.”

“I don’t want to be rid of you.” I’m beaming up at him now.

“I’m going to move into your house and sleep in your bed and make sure you’re safe and happy and take care of you and fuck you senseless every night. That’s how much you’re never going to be rid of me.” There’s a small smile playing on the corners of his lips.

I start giggling halfway through his speech until I fall against his chest in a fit of delighted amusement. He wraps his arms around me, and I mumble against his chest, “As long as you let me take care of you too.”

* * *

A month later, I wake up early when I hear someone moving around in the kitchen. It’s still dark outside, and Cole is still asleep beside me, mostly naked with the covers pushed down to his waist, so I know it must be Breanna.

She’s doing another run today and probably wants an early start. As soon as we got back to town, she returned to her normal duties, guarding the wall and making message and supply runs. I suggested maybe she wants to stay closer to home for a while, but she shrugged off the idea.

She still wants to go out as often as possible, but she always goes alone now.

I slip out of bed, pulling down the old nightgown I wear for sleep in the summer, and hurry into the kitchen, wanting to catch her before she leaves.

She’s filling her water bottle with well water, fully dressed with her hair pulled into a tight french braid. She flashes me a quick smile. “It’s too early for you to be up yet.”

“I wanted to say hi. How long will you be today?”

“I should be back before lunch. I’m just checking the message drop.”

“You want me and Cole to come with you?”

She laughs with a shake of her head. “Definitely not. I’m fine. You know I’m fine. I’m always fine.”

“I know you are.”

“Don’t get all sentimental on me. Just because you’ve fallen into some sort of swamp of domestic bliss lately doesn’t mean that’s what I want too.”

“I know that. And it’s not a swamp. That makes it sound gross.” I pause, sobering as I follow the line of thought. “We haven’t been too obnoxious or hard to be around, have we?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you so happy. There’s nothing obnoxious about it.” She glances away briefly toward the front door to our cottage. “But for years now my main goal has been to keep you safe, to take care of you.”

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