Page 11 of Sanctuary

I’ve gotten to the front walk, almost smiling in anticipation of sharing my success, when I hear the muffled sound of Del crying out.

My only justification is that it’s nearly impossible to differentiate between various kinds of cries when heard out of context. I panic. Act on instinct. Start running and burst in through the front door as I hear Del making another loudsobbing sound. I’m slammed with a tidal wave of guilt and fear and responsibility.

Del is my little sister. It’s always been my job to take care of her. And I left her here to do my own thing instead of staying to protect her. If something happens to her, it will be my fault. I’ve been too self-focused lately, acting on my own needs instead of thinking of hers.

Yes, Cole is always around. Yes, he’s strong. And, yes, he’s given every evidence of loving her.

But he’s still a man, and they can never fully be trusted to act against their own best interests in service of someone else.

All this is spiraling frantically in my head as I take a quick scan through the quiet main room of the cottage. Everything is as it should be, and nobody is visible.

The bedroom door down the hall is closed, and Del cries out again. I take three fast steps before I jerk to a stop as I finally process more sounds. More clues.

There’s a heavy, rhythmic banging sound coming from the bedroom. A gruff male grunting that’s almost animalistic. Then Del’s loud exclamations start to form words. “Yes! Cole, please!”

I freeze, stunned as the realization of what’s happening in the bedroom finally penetrates through the cloud of fear in my brain.

Del is not in trouble. Not even close.

I know they have an active sex life. It’s impossible not to know when we share the same house. But they always try to be considerate about the noise. They may go at it like animals—sometimes multiple times a day—but they always stay fairly quiet when they know I’m at home.

So most of the time I can shrug it off or block it out.

But they don’t know I’m here right now, so they’re more uninhibited than normal.

They’re really fucking loud.

I’m still stunned. Breathless from the panic and the rush into the house. Trying to get my mind and body to work enough to turn around and leave. Give them some privacy.

I’ve clearly caught them at a climactic moment. Del is definitely having a very good time. She’s always been quiet, keeping her thoughts to herself. I’ve never heard her so loud in her life. And that damn bed frame is hammering against the wall. It’s a miracle it hasn’t fallen apart from the rough handling it’s getting.

Now Cole is talking, his throaty voice a softer contrast to the banging and Del’s sobbing. “There it is. That’s my good girl. You like it like this, don’t you? You’re taking it so good. This is what you’ve needed all day. You’re being such a good girl, coming so hard for me.” Then there’s a sharp slapping sound, unmistakably a spank. It makes Del come again with more loud abandon.

My stomach churns sickeningly. I choke around a sudden tension in my throat. My frozen body is suddenly freed, and I stumble back out of the cottage.

I stand for a minute outside on the front porch, sucking in the late afternoon air, but I can still hear them. Cole spanks her again, and Del sobs in pleasure.

My stomach heaves. I run. Away from the cottage. Down the street. Toward the closest exit on the wall, the one side door used only by locals leaving town.

The guard manning the position asks if I’m all right as I rush out, gasping and trying desperately to calm the churning inside me. I call out I’m fine—an absolute lie—and run until I’ve reached the bank of a nearby creek.

There’s no one in sight here. Nothing but the water and overgrown grass and the setting sun.

I fall to my knees, vomiting in painful wretches into the grass until my stomach is empty.

Then I find a large rock farther down the creek and sit on it, trying to catch my breath, wipe off my face, and pull myself back together.

Del and Cole did absolutely nothing wrong. They’re a couple. They’re allowed to enjoy each other any way they want. And I’m sure a lot of women would find that kind of thing sexy. Maybe they need it to feel safe enough to let go.

It’s not their fault that I’ve heard talk like that too in very different contexts. That men have spoken to me like I’m an object, spanked me, used me for their own selfish purposes, and acted like I was enjoying it when I had no choice but to let them fuck me in any way they chose.

I’ve never been raped through physical violence. Not once in my life. But only because I’ve always given men what they want before they can take it by force. Whenever we were helpless, I’d find the strongest man around, the one most capable of protecting me, and offer myself to him willingly.

I’d act like I wanted it, and they were all fools enough to believe it.

They got off on it. And I dealt with it because it was the only way to keep me and my sister alive.

I made sure Del never had to face anything like it. She was a virgin until she met Cole. She was never put in a difficult position sexually. If she likes to hear talk like that, she’s allowed.

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