Page 51 of Sanctuary

So after we wake up, wash, dress, eat some jerky and the last of our bread, pack, and neatly fold up the blankets and robes we’ve used (Aidan’s initiative), we’re ready to leave.

My leg is a lot better. I’ve gotten more rest over the past few days than I’ve had in years, so that really helped it heal. I feel better overall than I did before we arrived, and that clench of stress I’ve always walked around with has transformed into a giddy excitement.

About Aidan. About what my life might look like now that Aidan is a part of it.

We haven’t made any plans. Or any promises. I’m not foolish enough to assume a few days means a lifetime commitment. ButI have absolutely no doubt that Aidan is serious about me, and that means something.

I don’t know what it will look like when we come down off this mountain, but it meanssomething.

I’ve zipped up my pack and am about to strap it onto my back when Aidan takes it from me. Pulls the straps onto his shoulders while I frown at him.

“What?” he asks.

“I can carry my own load.” I’m not resentful or even annoyed. Mostly I figure I should at least lodge the objection.

“I know you can. But maybe I want to carry it for you.”

His response is light, almost teasing, but it hits me strangely. I swallow. Glance away.

“Is it all right if I carry it?” he asks softly.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

When I turn back to him, he’s smiling. “I’m planning to drop it into my cart as soon as we reach it anyway.”

I choke on a laugh. “Always practical. That’s my Aidan.”

When I hear what I’ve just said, I’m startled and slightly embarrassed, but Aidan doesn’t react as if I’ve said anything inappropriate. Just murmurs, “Yes, I am,” as he strides toward the exterior door.

I follow him, glancing back over my shoulder with a silly flicker of nostalgia for this quiet sacred space.

We reach his cart in a few minutes, and it’s not difficult to dig it out of the snow, since so much has melted. Aidan settles my pack on top of the supplies in his cart and gives me a little smile. “Here we go.”

“Yep. I know it’s ridiculous, but I’m kind of sad about leaving.”

“I know. I feel the same way. I’ve got this knot of dread about how everything will change once we get back down there.”

“Do you think… Do you think this is only a week’s fling?”

He shrugs. “It doesn’t feel that way to me. What about you?”

“No. But it’s impossible not to realize it’s all going to change when we get back to our regular lives. I mean…” I cough as my voice breaks. “I mean, what will we evendo?”

He pushes his cart onto the road, and I fall in step with him, holding onto one of the handles to help him since when the slope gets steep, we’ll have to make sure it doesn’t roll away from us. “What would you like for us to do? What do you want this to look like after today?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know?”

I’m a bit frustrated since he’s putting the decision-making entirely on me. I’d prefer to know what he wants before I clarify my own preferences. “It’s difficult to say without even knowing the options.”

“Ah. I see. Well, we can do anything as far as I’m concerned. We can go back to how we were before and take some time before we make any changes. We can meet up occasionally to have some fun but otherwise live our own lives. We can split territory and each handle our own jobs but set up a homebase where we get together. Or we could… we could travel together. Do jobs together.”

My hand tightens on the handle. “Wow. You’ve put some thought into this.”

“Yes. I have. I told you before, and I still mean it now. There’s never going to be any pressure on you. Not from me. You’ve had enough of that in your life, and I’ll never force more on you. We can do whatever you’re most comfortable with. The only thing I ask is that you don’t go back to hating me. I’m not sure I could live with that.”

“I don’t want that either.” I reach over and touch his arm over the sleeve of his coat. “You don’t really think I’d pretend none of this ever happened, do you?”

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