Page 66 of Sanctuary

And that’s the final word. For both of us. I walk and keep walking.

All the way back home.

10

It’s latewhen I reach Monument.

Almost dark.

There’s a new guy managing the gate, and he doesn’t recognize me. Maybe he’s really never seen me before, or maybe I don’t look like myself. For whatever reason, he starts giving me an interrogation like I’m a stranger or an intruder.

I’m not in a fit emotional state to handle it right now, so I’m relieved when a familiar gruff voice says, “That’s Del’s sister. Let her in.”

It’s Cole. He’s waiting for me after I pass in through the gateway. He’s wearing the jeans and shirt I got for him in Sharpsburg and frowning at me thoughtfully.

“You okay?” he mutters. He must be heading back to the cottage because he falls into step with me.

“I’m fine.”

It’s not true, but it’s close enough. I’m not in danger of falling apart. After the traumatic morning and the long day’s hike, I mostly feel numb.

“What happened?” He knows something isn’t right. After all, I’m supposed to be traveling with Aidan for at least a few more days. Now I’m back after a day and a half, and Aidan is not.

“I… I was wrong about him.” I kind of bite out the words.

“Shit.”

Cole has never been a particularly verbal or effusive man. With everyone but Del, he rarely speaks more than single sentences at a time. But the brief expletive is surprised. Sympathetic.

It means something to me. Ridiculously, it makes me want to cry.

I don’t. I’m not a crier, and I haven’t been one for a very long time. Aidan isn’t going to change that. He isn’t going to changeme.

“It’s fine,” I manage to say. “Probably better this way. I was doing good alone.”

I thought I was. I reveled in the freedom. But now a string of day after day by myself, when for a while my life could have been different, rings hollow. Painfully empty.

“Yeah.” Cole pauses as we turn onto the side street where our cottage is located. “Del will be happy you’re here.”

My eyes burn. Blur. I nod as my only response.

Maybe Del was waiting for Cole, watching from inside, because she steps out onto the front porch as we approach.

She doesn’t ask many any questions or express any surprise. She must understand the broad strokes of what happened merely from my presence here and the expression on my face.

She comes down the two steps as Cole and I turn up the walk.

Then she pulls me into a hug.

I do end up crying. More than once over the next few weeks. But I only do so when I’m all by myself in bed at night. Otherwise, I go through a regular daily routine and attempt to act normal.

Maybe if I act like I’m fine I’ll end up being fine. Eventually.

I’m not up for much travelling right away since it reminds me too much of Aidan, so I stick to guard shifts and half-day message runs. I hang out with Del and help Cole with a manually pumped plumbing system he’s designing for our cottage, and I ask around for news about Maria.

I try to feel like myself again.

It’s almost three weeks later when a couple of the women in Maria’s group stop by town to let us know that, five days from now, everyone who wants to participate in the attack should meet up at a designated spot less than a day’s hike away from the old hotel where the gangs are holed up in. From there, we’ll organize and launch the assault.

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