Page 68 of Sanctuary

There’s no tremor in her voice. No doubt. She’s clear-eyed and confident. She’s obviously healthy and well taken care of. She’s even got an engagement ring and a wedding band on her left hand. I can’t question the faith of every other woman just because my own faith in men has been battered so completely.

“Okay, good,” I tell her, smiling again. “Sorry for the assumptions. I’ve seen a lot.”

“Me too. That’s why I’ve started to just come out and say it. I appreciate that you’re concerned for a stranger you just met, but I promise I’m good.”

“I’m glad. And I’m glad to meet you. How long have y’all been here?”

“We got here this morning. Maria sent a couple of her folks back our way to get some help two or three weeks ago. We gathered some volunteers and left yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” My eyes are very wide.

“We have a truck. We drove.”

“Oh wow. No one around here has had gas to get a vehicle moving in a couple of years.”

“We’re getting pretty low too, so we only use it for emergencies.” She glances back toward Cal, who is still watching her like a hawk, like he’s ready to pounce on anyone who dares threaten her. “Come on over. I’ll introduce you to the others.”

I’m happy for the distraction and cheerfully comply. She brings me over to her group and introduces me to everyone. There are too many for me to remember everyone’s name, but there’s a big black guy named Mack and a skinny freckled white guy named Ham and a short-haired woman named Gail. The others seem nice, but their names simply don’t stick.

We chat for almost an hour. Then Maria comes over and sits down with us. At first, I think she has something to tell us, but soon I realize she’s tired. She’s probably been on all day doing crowd-control and planning. One can hardly blame her for needing a break.

This is evidently a group she feels at home with.

Mack is warm and friendly, and he’s dressed like a soldier. I like him immediately and listen as he chats with Maria about other people they know.

Someone named Travis couldn’t come because he and his wife just had a second baby. Someone named Faith is pregnant, which is clearly a surprise to Maria. Evidently she’s been trying for a while and didn’t think it was going to happen, but now it has, so her man won’t leave her to come help with this effort.

Maria doesn’t appear annoyed or disappointed, but she also doesn’t look thrilled by any of this news. She’s an interesting person. Always focused on the mission. She clearly knows I’ve been listening because she turns to me and says, “A lot of the fighters I’ve been able to count on keep having babies. I try not to consider it an inconvenience.”

A little laugh surprises me, but since Mack chuckles too, I assume it’s an appropriate response. “Y’all must have better food and medical care there. Healthy babies are few and far between around here.”

“We’re doing better,” Mack says. “There are a lot more than there used to be. But it’s still a big risk. Don’t blame anyone for playing it safe if there’s a baby born or on the way.”

“It’s a balancing act,” Maria adds. “Weighing the needs of individual families against the needs of the larger community. Neither one can be ignored. So I hope everyone doesn’t decide to go domestic.” She gives Mack a significant look.

He laughs again, so I’m comfortable laughing too.

That balancing act isn’t likely to ever matter to me. I’ll never have a baby.

I most likely will never even have a man.

By the middle of the following day, even more people have gathered in the old department store. There are far too many people for an organized meeting, so Maria and some of the others go around assessing numbers and skills and weapons. Once all the resources are accounted for, they’ll put together their plan and assign everyone to different duties.

I don’t mind not being at the center of the planning. I’ve never done anything like this before.

I just want to help in some way. Do something that matters.

Shape something good out of the bad.

I’ve been hanging out with Rachel, Cal, Mack and the others, and a little while ago Del and Cole came over to sit with me. I introduce them.

We’ve got a long day ahead of us so we might as well get comfortable.

Maria returns to us after a while. Not to chat but to discuss a few things with Mack and Cal, who are evidently her preferred tacticians for missions such as this. From what I can hear, they have a good, if complicated, plan, but they’re stalled on one piece.

“We gotta get someone inside,” Cal says. “No way around it. If we don’t get that door unlocked, we can’t do it.”

“That’s awfully dangerous,” Mack says. “Basically a suicide run for whoever volunteers.”

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