Page 82 of Sanctuary

“I know you are. I don’t deserve all the care you’ve been giving me.”

I shrug and smile, self-conscious and not sure how to respond to that.

He must know I’m feeling awkward because he changes the subject. “What’s going on out there today?” He’s able to stand upnow and take several steps, but the doctor still doesn’t want him going outside where he’ll be likely to encounter more germs.

“Oh, a lot of hassle. A few new folks have moved in upstairs. The extended family of one of the girls they kept here. And Maria and her group are getting ready to leave.”

“Are they? Where are they headed?”

“Back to Kentucky, I think.” The others from Kentucky—Cal, Rachel, Mack and the others—drove back the day after the attack so they could return Gail’s body to New Haven, which was evidently her home. I was sorry I couldn’t spend more time with them, but they couldn’t linger. “She said they need a rest, which I’m sure is true. They lost several of their number, and that’s got to be hard.”

In total, we lost eleven of the people who gathered to attack the hotel. Quite a few more were injured. And Cole lost Mark. He buried him the day after in a sunny grove in the woods nearby since Cole was grazed by a bullet and the trip back to Monument was too far.

“Yeah. Can you ask Maria to stop by to see me before she leaves? I’d like to thank her.”

“I will for sure. They aren’t leaving until tomorrow.”

“Okay. Good.” He darts me a quick look. “You’re not tempted to go with them?”

“No. I thought about it at one time, but for me it would only be a way to run away. I don’t want to leave Del and Cole. And this region feels like my home, so I want to stay here.” I clear my throat. “And I might miss you a little bit too.”

He chuckles softly and reaches over with his right hand—his only hand—and lightly strokes back a few stray hairs that have escaped my braids. “I hope you would. My days would look awfully bleak without you in them, but I want what’s best for you. If that’s leaving, then I want you to do that.”

“I don’t think that’s best for me.”

“Okay. Then that’s good.”

We look at each other for a long time.

I know he loves me. After everything that’s happened, I never doubt it anymore. I know he wants to share the rest of his life with me, although he hasn’t asked for it.

All I need to do is tell him I love him too. That I want to be with him just as much. That I forgive him for lying, for trying to protect himself in a way that ended up hurting me. That he’s proven in every conceivable way that he’ll now always put me first.

But there’s a tiny twisting of fear inside me that’s holding me back from taking that final step.

I don’t know what it is, but it keeps me silent right now.

I’m not sure which of us would have spoken first if there hadn’t been a tap on the door just then.

“Come in,” Aidan calls out.

When the door swings open, Del comes in with Cole right behind her. “I told you she’d be here,” she says, looking up at Cole.

I laugh at that, sitting up since I feel too vulnerable lying down on the bed next to Aidan in their presence. “I am here. You were looking for me?”

“Yeah.” Del glances over at Aidan. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Pretty good overall. I wish I wasn’t so damn weak, but the doctor keeps saying it’s normal.”

“I’m sure it is. You’ve done amazing so far.” Del looks back over at me. “We were thinking about heading home to Monument tomorrow, if that’s all right with you.”

“Of course it’s all right with me. You could have gone earlier.”

“I know. But Cole’s injury needed to heal, and we wanted to make sure Aidan was all right, and there was a lot of work we could help with here. But we’ve been gone for a long time. SinceAidan is on the road to recovery and you’re doing okay too, we thought…”

“You should definitely go home. I’ll be back there as soon as I can.”

Del hugs me tightly, although we’ll have plenty of time for goodbyes tomorrow. When she pulls away, she says to Aidan, “And I hope to see you too?” She lifts her tone at the end to make it a soft question.

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