Page 14 of Sanctuary

He’ll never be anything more to me than an obstacle to overcome.

3

For the next two weeks,I see and hear nothing of Aidan.

The break from him should be a relief, but it’s not. It bothers me. Nags at me. Frustrates me to have no idea what he’s up to or what he’ll try to maneuver next.

I mostly stick to Monument. I need to put some work in for the town to make up for my time away, so every other day I work a double shift to make sure no one has reason to complain about my contributions.

Monument provides food and protection to me and my sister and has done for years—even when we were basically helpless. It’s only right for us to do our part to assist the functioning of the town. I mostly do guard duty on the wall, and the only time I leave town in these two weeks is to run several messages to nearby towns and settlements.

Most days are peaceful and uneventful. And kind of boring. I’m restless. Even more than I used to be. I want to do something. Get out of here.

I love Del more than anything, but more and more it feels like she and Cole need a home of their own so they can be a couple and start their own family when they’re ready.

And me—I need to be somewhere else, even if it means I’ll be alone.

I don’t say this to Del. It would wound her. Hurt her and make her feel guilty. Because we used to be a pair, all that the other needed. And Cole changed everything for both of us.

In the very few moments I indulge in self-pity, I resent that fact. Just a little. That he swept in and stole my sister away from me. Leaving me with no one.

No one.

But I only rarely let that unworthy thought even cross my mind. It’s not fair. I still have Del, and I always will.

Even though it will never be the same.

So I put in the work at Monument for two long weeks. I eat and laugh and hang out with Del, making sure she never picks up even a hint about how I’d prefer to be somewhere else.

The reality of living in the world post-Impact is that there’s realistically nowhere else to go. No other life to live.

Finally, on the Sunday at the beginning of the third week, I’ve put in enough time to allow myself to start off on another trip. I want to check in with James again. Hit a few more towns where I’ve made connections. Maybe try a couple of new communities. Get back on the road again.

I’ve never been by nature an early riser, but I always wake up with the sun when I’m traveling.

Today is Del and Cole’s day off, and they usually sleep in, so I said my goodbyes to them last night. I’m startled when, as I’m closing up my pack, Del’s voice sounds from behind me. “Please be safe while you’re out there, Breanna.”

My breath hitches from being taken by surprise, and I let out the breath slowly before I turn around with a smile. “You know me. I always am.”

“I used to think so, but I’m not so sure anymore.” Del’s brown eyes are sober. Faintly questioning. Her hair is a tangledmess around her face, and she’s wearing cozy fleece pajamas she snagged last year when someone brought back a huge load of scavenged clothes.

“That’s silly. I’m always careful.” I catch a flicker of a vision of me turning my back to Aidan’s aimed pistol. The rush of adrenaline at the risk. The uncertainty.

I’ll never tell Del about that though.

“But even when we’re careful, things still happen. You got taken last year.”

My spine stiffens, and I bite back a defensive response. Because the truth is I might have been able to get away from the men who kidnapped me off a mostly empty highway last year. I at least would have tried.

Had Del not been hiding just up the hill. Completely innocent. Completely vulnerable.

My main thought—my only thought—was getting those monsters away from her. It’s been years since I’ve been vulnerable or innocent the way Del was back then. She wouldn’t know how to survive through being captured the way I did.

I’d never have let it happen to her, so I allowed it to happen to me.

Not once have I ever blamed her for it—for any of the times I placed my body quite literally between her and any threat. And I never will.

But I also don’t want her to make it sound like my capture was a result of my own negligence.

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