Page 29 of Sanctuary

I have to pee again, so we go through that indignity once more. Then I wash my hands and face with a damp paper towel and the soap in my pack. I pull my braids out and comb out myhair, deciding to leave it loose for now since I won’t be doing anything strenuous or active any time soon.

Aidan has been doing his own nighttime prep. He even shaves with a straight-edge razor and no mirror, which is an impressive feat as far as I’m concerned.

He’s still wearing the robe like I am. There’s no reason not to sleep in them. Our clothes should be fully dry by tomorrow morning. I do pull on the spare pair of panties I keep in my pack, so I’m not totally naked beneath mine.

Then we’re ready for bed.

I lay back down on my cushions. Pull the blanket up over me.

Aidan blows out the candles and adds a couple of pieces of wood to the fire.

The room is dark with just the firelight flickering. It’s eerie. Oddly surreal. Like the two of us are all alone in the world.

We’re silent for several minutes. All I can hear is Aidan’s steady breathing and the occasional crack from the fire.

He must know I’m not asleep because he finally says, “How old were you at Impact?”

People used to exist by calendar years and measure their lives by dates. Now the only landmark in time that matters is the day the asteroid crashed into our planet.

Eight years ago. Not really that long. But everything that came before seems like a separate lifetime. Like it must have happened to someone else.

“I was seventeen. I was a senior in high school. Deciding on a college.”

“I bet you were one of the popular girls.”

If he sounded mocking, I wouldn’t have answered truthfully, but instead he sounds almost warm. “I had plenty of friends. I ran track, and the rest of the team was my group. I guess there were guys who were interested in me, but none of them were the ones I had my eye on, so I didn’t actually date all that much.”

“No?”

“No. I went to school dances and out to movies and whatever with the others, but the guys I went with were more friendly than romantic. The guys I really liked never liked me back.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Why?”

“Have you seen yourself? You’re gorgeous. Downright stunning. Surely even teenagers could see it.”

My cheeks warm, which is silly because he’s obviously not making a move on me. His comment was matter-of-fact. Like a statement of fact rather than a personal opinion. “I don’t know. I think I’m better looking now than I was back then, but I also didn’t have a lot of confidence when I was a teenager. I never really thought of myself as pretty. I didn’t mind my red hair, but I didn’t like my freckles, and I never thought I was skinny enough.”

“Why would any man want you to be skinnier?”

I let out a breathy laugh, confused and slightly anxious. He’s never behaved like he thought I was attractive before, but now he’s acting like it’s self-evident. “I don’t know. I was seventeen. And girls of my time were taught from the cradle that being model-thin was the ideal. Anyway, for whatever reason, I never had a high school boyfriend. I always assumed I would when I got to college, but then it was Impact, and boyfriends were the last thing on my mind.”

“Where was your family living then?”

“In Norfolk. We didn’t move inland immediately. We heard all the warnings, of course, but we didn’t have any family in a safer location. We didn’t have anywhere to go. So we stayed through the first hurricanes. Until the tidal surge finally flooded our house. Then we drove to Charlottesville where we stayed in an emergency shelter.”

“You and Del and your parents?”

“Yeah. Del is two years younger than me. My mom was pregnant with a surprise baby.” I’m not sure why I’m telling Aidan all this, but the personal conversation feels natural—essential—in the darkness and stillness of the night.

“So what happened to them?”

“A militia group attacked the shelter. My dad tried to help defend it. He was killed. We got shuffled back to their compound with the rest of the survivors. My mom and Del were made to work.”

Aidan has been lying on his side, propping his head up on one bent arm. Right now, he’s completely motionless. Silent.

I know what he’s waiting for. So I tell him. “One of the leaders of the group took a liking to me. So my job was to fuck him.”

---