Page 65 of Homestead

“I get that. It’s his home.”

I give the other woman a quick, questioning look. “Has there never been a man you were interested in?”

“Sure. Back before Impact I had crushes on guys in my classes, and a few years after Impact I did have a boyfriend. But we were still so young we couldn’t really set up house together. And he ended up dying anyway.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You never mentioned him before. What happened?”

“He got sick from some virus that was going around and never got better.” She sounds resigned. Not close to tears. “It was the same one that killed Laura’s parents. If he’d lived, I probably would have eventually moved in with him and set up a home. But since him, there really hasn’t been anyone. There just aren’t a lot of unattached men around.”

“There are single guys who help out on the farms, aren’t there?”

“Yeah. A bunch of them have shown interest but…” She shrugs. “Am I supposed to hook up with anyone just to have a man?”

I think about that for a long time. It makes me feel strange and squirmy. Because the truth is that’s exactly what I did. Jimmy was basicallyanyoneto me, and I hooked up with him merely because he offered.

“It was different with you,” Amelia says, eyeing me closely and obviously seeing some of my reflections on my face. “If I didn’t have a decent home, I would have done the same thing as you. Plus Jimmy isn’t any sort of participation prize. He’s been the hot commodity around here since Mary died.”

“You weren’t interested in him?”

“No. No way.” She gives her head a hard shake. “He’s a great guy, of course, but I grew up knowing him, and I was like twelve when he got married. He’s just never been on the eligible list for me.”

“And there really hasn’t been anyone who caught your interest since your boyfriend died?”

Amelia’s mouth tightens in a particular way.

I come over and sit on the leather chair, leaning toward her. “There is someone! Why didn’t you tell me? Who is it?”

“Just a passing interest. There was never any hope things could work out.”

“Who cares about that? Who is it?”

She sits up on the couch. “A couple of years ago, a group of folk traveled through this area. They lived over around Kentucky or something, and they made a trip to check out what was out west of them.”

“Oh wow. How far did they get?”

“They couldn’t get past The Wild. They got stuck at the border like everyone else. We told them the only way to get farther west was to go north until they reach the end of The Wild, but of course no one here could tell them how far north that is. There were only four of them. They did have a vehicle, but they decided it was too much of a risk to push any farther. They were just exploring, so they didn’t have any pressing need to risk their lives or run out of gas and get stuck. Anyway, they stayed here for a couple of weeks. They don’t have cows in their communities, so they wanted to negotiate a trade with my parents. But they’ll need a lot of cows to get them established there, and they didn’t have enough to offer us in trade.”

“Oh, interesting. So there was a guy you liked?”

“Yeah. His name was Mack.” She smiles at an empty spot in the air. “Such a beautiful, warmhearted man. He had a woman with him the first time, so I figured he was already taken. But he came back last year to talk more about the cow situation, and he was with just one other guy this time. When I asked about his woman, he said they weren’t together.”

“Did you let him know you were interested?”

“Yes. He was super nice about it, but he turned me down.” Amelia sighs and leans back against the couch. “Those are the breaks, I guess. We can’t have everyone who catches our eye.”

“No. I guess not.” I’m kind of upset for her. She’s beautiful and intelligent and competent and funny and generous. What man wouldn’t want her? “Well, someone will come along eventually.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. It wasn’t a sure thing in the old world, and it’s probably less of a chance of finding someone who suits you perfectly now. Most people just make do.”

I sit very still.

“I wasn’t talking about you,” she adds quickly.

I laugh. “I know you weren’t. Although I guess I did kind of make do. But I got really lucky to stumble on someone as good as Jimmy.”

“You did get lucky. But he got lucky too. I knew it on that very first day he brought you home. You’re so pretty and have this kind of soft, angelic look, and he was gazing at you like his dreams had come to life.”

“No, he was not!”

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