Page 53 of Homestead

“Yeah. I’m okay now.”

“Feels like I was kinda selfish just now.”

“You weren’t. You gave me what I needed. What I asked for.”

“You’re sure?” He wraps both arms around me, not squeezing now, just holding me close to him.

“I’m sure. Thank you.” I press a little kiss on his shoulder.

It stills him. Silences him. He lets out a long breath.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” he murmurs after a long stretch of silence.

“Me too. I’m glad you’re here.”

* * *

I feel better—more like myself—the next morning.

My cheek is still deeply bruised and achy. It actually looks worse today than it did yesterday. But in every other way I feel more in control, confident that I can get back to normal.

The problem is Jimmy isn’t.

He won’t let me out of his sight.

I understand that this is probably the aftermath of the events of yesterday. He got really scared that he’d left me alone without protection for that stranger to victimize. He feels somehow responsible no matter how irrational it is.

I can understand all that, and I’m prepared to have patience. But he’s being absolutely ridiculous.

It’s Monday. He’s supposed to go back to his folks’ to help with the work there, while I’m supposed to stay here and do laundry, which has become my main Monday chore.

But he absolutely refuses to leave me alone.

At first it’s a normal discussion of our plans for the day. We do it every morning over breakfast. So I tell him I’m going to work on laundry all day, and he says no.

No.

He tells me no.

I can’t stay here on my own. I can’t be going in and out of the house throughout the day when he’s not around. It doesn’t matter if I promise to carry my gun with me every single moment, I’m still not allowed to go about my day.

I’m notallowed.

That’s what he tells me.

At first I counter his irrational responses as sweetly and patiently as I normally communicate with him when he’s being grumpy or stubborn. I understand why he’s worried, but I’m going to be a lot more careful from now on. He’s lived here for years without strangers lurking behind every tree. One random incident doesn’t define the entire future.

But he won’t listen. He won’t agree. He keeps saying no, and there’s absolutely no budging him.

So I give up before I start to snap at him and tell him to stop being stupid.

He probably just needs another day or so to get over it. He won’t continue to be so ludicrously defensive.

I go with him to his parents’ house and help Greta with the kitchen work while he works with his dad outside.

I’m annoyed all day, and it’s made worse because everyone who sees me is shocked by the sight of my face. I have to tell the same story over and over again and then have almost everyone believe that I’m the one too scared to stay by myself. That coming here was my idea and not Jimmy’s.

I wouldn’t dream of talking bad about Jimmy to anyone even though I’m more and more frustrated with him as the day passes. I gently correct people’s assumptions, explaining that Jimmy was worried and wanted me to come along.

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