Page 83 of Beacon

I’m stunned. Speechless. My mouth falls open, and my heart bursts into wild flutters of joy.

“It’s just that it’s a lot safer there. In New Haven or in Halbrook. I was thinking one of those. We can relax a little there. Figure things out and catch our breath without always being on the lookout for guns aimed our way. I think we need that. I definitely do. After everything. I wish I didn’t, but I need that.”

I manage to swallow over the lump in my throat. My eyes are burning as I nod and keep nodding. “I need it too, Mack. That’s exactly what I want. I want to go home.”

He makes a rough, guttural sound and covers his mouth for a few seconds with one hand. “Okay, good. I was hoping you would, but we haven’t talked about… about the future. And I’m not gonna rush you. I promise I won’t. We can still take our time, and you can figure out exactly what you want, and we can… can go slow and easy. But I really wanna take you home soon.”

I’m having some real trouble not crying here. I have to contort my face to control a rising sob. But it’s from joy. Nothing but joy. “You really think I want to go slow and easy?”

“Well, not with the…usstuff.” He’s more relaxed now. Obviously relieved. There’s a smile in his eyes and on the corners of his mouth, and his accent goes back to its faint normal. “I’m assuming we’ll be getting right back at it as soon as you’re better again. But with the future stuff.” He pauses, peering at me closely. “Last we talked about it, you weren’t sure what you’d like to do.”

“Maybe a few things have changed since then.”

He perks up a little. “Well, yeah. I guess so. But I still wanted you to be completely free to ask for what you needed. If you want a little house in Halbrook all to yourself so you can teach English and be your own person, I’ll be okay with that. I really will. I’ll help you get it. As long as you don’t mind a nightly visitor in your bed. Every single night.”

I burst into helpless laughter, trying to stifle it only so I can keep hearing what he’s saying.

“Or if you want something else, we can do that too. Just because we’re together now doesn’t mean your life has to look like everyone else’s. We don’t have to do it only one way.”

Because there’s a slight hint of concern in his voice, I hurry to assuage it. “Mack, thank you. Seriously. So much. But I don’t need to live on my own to have everything I’ve always wanted. That’s what I’ve finally figured out. Or grown into. Or whatever. That’s how I’ve changed. Maybe I’ve always been stronger than I ever believed before, but things are different now. I’m different. And I know this one thing for sure. I’ve never been stronger or freer than when I’m loving you.”

He makes a choked sound. His shoulders shake. I can see the depth of his reaction on his face and in his posture, but all he says is, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Mack, I mean it. I want to live with you. I want a life with you. I want a home and maybe a family with you. I wanteverythingwith you. And if you don’t get over hereand let me hug you, I’m going to crawl right out of this chaise no matter how many times you chastise me.”

He bursts into laughter and kneels on the ground beside my seat so I can lift up and wrap my arms around him. I squeeze him tightly, but his arms are loose around me. I know it’s because he’s still afraid of hurting my injury.

He draws back slightly so he can kiss me, however, and that’s definitely better than nothing.

“So where do you want to live?” he asks me. “Is Halbrook still the best place, do you think?”

“Well, I don’t know. I think it makes sense for a lot of reasons, but I want to know what you want too. If you were on your own, what would you do?”

“I’d probably curl up in a ball in a cave and never come out.”

“Mack, seriously.”

“Okay, seriously, I’d probably try to get a place in Halbrook. I love New Haven, and Faith and Jackson would love to have us. But there’s more… more opportunities in Halbrook. Different kinds of work to do. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do now that I can’t travel around like I used to. And I’ll probably have the most choices there.”

“I think so too. So let’s do that. We can get us a little place in Halbrook, and I can teach English at the school, and you can help out wherever you can until you figure out the right place for you. I’m sure there will be something there to make you happy.”

“Well,you’llbe there, so there’s not much chance I won’t be happy.”

Four days later, Mack and I are rattling up toward the gate at New Haven in Chloe’s grandpa’s old pickup truck.

It was left at the cabin with the ATV we’ve been using, and despite how much more gas it takes to fuel it, Mack insisted the truck was the only safe way for us to drive home.

He was right, of course. There was enough gasoline stored at the cabin for us to fill the pickup’s tank and a couple of extra reserve tanks. Just enough to get us all the way here.

We’ve got the back of the truck piled full of stuff we brought with us that might be useful. We stopped for a night with the Carlsons and let Chloe and Jimmy take anything they wanted since the property belonged to her grandfather. They only took a few things, however, and insisted they had no use for the truck. She wanted us to get safely home in it, and we’ve still got a lot of supplies and items to give away to people who might need them.

New Haven’s tall, ungainly wall greets us as we approach like an old friend. I turn to grin at Mack and am pleased to see him smiling back at me.

He shaved off his beard before we left the cabin. I’m not sure why since I assured him I like him with orwithout it equally. Maybe he wants to look more like the man he used to be when we get back to the people who know us. He does look more like his old self but not entirely. He’s thirty-eight now, and he looks it. Solid. Weathered. Deeply experienced. But still Mack.

“We made it,” he says.

We did.

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