Page 62 of Beacon

I’ll never let Mack down when he needs me, and I don’t fall apart now even as I’m overwhelmed. Thereare still tears behind my eyes and in my throat, and something akin to fear flutters in my chest and my pulse points. But none of that compares to the powerful emotion flooding through me, flooding everything.

It’s love.

I know it’s love.

“Mack,” I gasp again, so frantic in my need that I’m trying to ride him from below.

He speeds up even more, huffing and sweating and shuddering with an overload of feeling. He’s so far gone he’s not going to be able to hold out much longer, but he won’t want to come before I do.

I manage to squeeze my hand between our bodies so I can reach my clit. I rub it hard and fast and make a strangled exclamation as my pleasure surges.

Orgasm hits before I expect it, and I shake and gasp through the spasms of release, my pussy clamping down hard around Mack’s cock.

He bites back an anguished groan.

“Mack! Don’t pull out, Mack!”

I don’t know why or how I’ve come to this decision, but I mean it. Maybe it was holding Sammy today. Maybe it’s the fear that this will be the very last time I’ll be with Mack this way.

Whatever the reason, I want all of him.Allof him. I want him to come inside me.

No matter what that might mean.

He makes a broken sound, briefly pausing his carnal motion. “You sure?”

“Yes. Yes please, Mack! Don’t pull out.”

He lets out a low, soft groan that’s stretched out so long it gets choppy as his hips start moving again. He fucks me so hard my entire body jiggles, and he’s reached climax in less than a minute. His body works through the release clumsily. His hips roll as his cock spasms inside me. Then he’s coming in several hard spurts, filling me with his semen.

It’s the first time he’s ever done that in all the years since we first got together.

His hips keep jerking for a long time with each lingering aftershock. Then he collapses on top of me, all his weight collapsing. He buries his face in the crook of my shoulder.

I wrap my arms around him. Hold him tight.

After a minute, when his body finally starts to soften, I whisper, “I love you, Mack. You know that, right?”

He makes a weird, rough sound. Almost like a sob. He doesn’t lift his head, but he presses a few kisses against my skin.

It’s a long time before he can form any words. And when he does, they’re mumbled against my neck. “I love you too.”

12

The next morning,Mack and I help with feeding the chickens and collecting eggs before breakfast, but there are so many other people hanging around the farm now that there are no more chores for us to do.

Instead, by midmorning, we’re lingering in the front yard, waiting for Cal and Rachel to arrive with whomever else they recruited.

As soon as they get here, Maria will gather everyone to go over the plan. After that, Mack will leave for the cabin in The Wild.

Neither one of us has talked about what happened between us last night. I have no idea what to say about it, and I’m not sure it’s even worth doing since Mack is so set on leaving.

He loves me. It’s not entirely a surprise, but the confirmation matters to me. It mends something brokenin my heart. But if he can’t commit to me, commit to life, then his love doesn’t change anything else about our situation.

I love him too, but I always have. And it’s only now I’m understanding that having everything with him is something I want.

Too late.

The universe is rarely kind, and I’ve long since given up expecting miracles. It’s enough I’ve been able to have Mack in my life for so many years. It would be silly to expect anything more.

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