Page 65 of Beacon

“I guess that could happen, but are they really that organized? They don’t know we’re coming.”

“Yeah. That’s true.” Mack still looks worried. Brooding.

Maria’s plan is a good one. No one can question that—not even Mack. But still… There’s nothing certain or predictable about a situation like this.

Anything could happen.

I could die. Any one of us could.

All of us could die.

I’m not as afraid of dying as I am of never seeing Mack again. My face twists as I try to control the flood of emotion. “I love you, Mack,” I manage to say, reaching up to slide my hands around his neck so I can hold him loosely.

My words have an effect. Every bit as much as they did last night. His face, his whole body, twitches briefly in reaction. “I love you too, angel. You know I do.”

I nod and swallow and fight tears all at the same time. “I hate that this keeps happening to us. That it can’t be… it can’t be easier for us. That we can’t just be together.”

His eyes squeeze shut, and his shoulders shake a few times. It takes a minute for him to recover enough to say, “I know. I hate it too.”

“But I think it’s… it’s right to keep following our separate roads since they’re the right roads for us. And maybe one day…” I can’t hold back the tears any longer. A few slide down my cheeks and then my neck. “Maybe one day our roads will come back together.”

“I hope so,” he murmurs. He leans down to kiss me, soft, seeking, and desperate.

I respond, reaching for all the warmth and strength and peace and joy I’ve always found in him.

I still do—no matter how much both of us have changed. Mack will always be that person for me.

We kiss for a long time until he finally pulls back. He’s breathing heavily as he stares down at me. “Okay.”

“Okay.” I rub my lips, which are still tingling from his mouth.

“I should go now.”

“Yeah. You should go.”

He can’t seem to move. “I’m leaving.”

“All right. Be safe.”

It takes another minute and what looks like a massive effort for him to finally wrench himself away from me. He steps awkwardly over to the quad bike and swings his leg over to settle on the seat.

I squeeze his shoulder and step back. And I’m crying again when he meets my gaze with one more jerky nod.

Then he starts the engine and puts it in drive. Accelerates so quickly the vehicle lurches forward.

He drives away, leaving me standing alone.

I wake up before dawn the following morning when Langley leans over and touches my shoulder.

The afternoon before, I gave up my nice guestroom to Breanna and Aidan, who traveled farther than anyone else to help. Instead, I camped out with Maria and the others, reconnecting with my old friends and trying to distract myself from Mack’s absence.

People keep asking me about him, and I keep saying he can’t help us with no further explanation. No one appears angry or disappointed with Mack, but they’re confused. They don’t understand. And it’s upsetting that everyone keeps bringing him up.

I’m trying to be strong, and constantly thinking about Mack is making that difficult.

I’m surprised I slept as well as I did on my blanket by a large campfire outside. But I spent years traveling and living with Maria and these women, and it’s not as hard as I might have expected to fall back into the pattern. I’m not even groggy when Langley wakes me. I smile and thank her for the assist.

My back is sore from lying on the ground, and my eyes are aching strangely. But otherwise I feel okay aside from the heaviness in my heart that’s entirely due to Mack’s absence. I go through a simple morning routine and accept a breakfast sandwich. I’m French braiding my hair and winding it around my head to get it out of the way when Cal and Rachel find me.

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