Page 13 of Every Breath

“In a hospital?” I ask, disbelieving. “Where is he?”

Dyami shrugs. “He left. He said he had to get stuff ready for movie night at the house for the twins.”

I’m going to kill Dax when I see him.

“He didn’t tell you anything else on the way?” I ask suspiciously. “A plan, maybe?”

“No, he was just asking me how school was, if my Valentine’s Day was going well… that kind of stuff.”

I sigh. Men. Guess I’m not getting anything out of this one, even if he is my son.

“Alright, so now that you’re here, what are we supposed to do? Where are we supposed to go?” I ask, using a different tactic. “Because I have no idea.”

“Oh! That’s right.” Dyami pulls out an envelope from his jacket pocket. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom. I made you this one.”

He hands me a familiar-looking envelope. It’s similar to the ones Nana and I folded and sealed, all twenty of them. “I thought this was for your Valentine at school, the girl you liked,” I say. “That’s why you didn’t want me to see it.”

Dyami shrugs sheepishly. “I didn’t want you to see it because it was for you. You’re my Valentine.”

I roll my eyes but open the envelope, anyway. The card inside matches all the other cards Nana and I helped him put together except unlike the rest of the cards that didn’t have any names on them—he was supposed to hand out the cards to everyone so no names needed—he personalized this one.

Dearest Mom, Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you more than Nana’s breakfast burritos. Love, Dyami. P.S. Don’t tell her.

I laugh, pulling him in for another hug and holding him for as long as I can until he mumbles something against my shirt.

“Um, Mom, there’s this, too.”

As I pull away, I see the familiar red envelope in his hand. I look at him as he tries to fight back a knowing grin but fails gleefully.

That’s it. I’m going to kill Benny when I see him.

* * *

The card Dyamigives me directs me to the Taos Plaza, to the hotel where Benny and I usually hang out for drinks while admiring works by one of his favorite Navajo artists that grace the adobe walls of the lobby. I wonder if this means Benny can make it down in time but if I thought I could grill Dyami for more information about what’s really going on while on the way there, I’m mistaken. He won’t budge at all. I can’t even threaten to leave him at the hospital because it would be child neglect… or is it endangerment?

It doesn’t matter. He’s Benny’s kid through and through. Tough when he needs to be, and just as stoic as his father. A few times last summer, Benny took Dyami with him to the Navajo Nation where they spent time with his family, especially Benny’s grandfather who wanted his great-grandson to be taught the way of the Navajo.

By the time they returned after a week spent on the reservation, Dyami’s skin had turned dark and he told me all about having to wake up before sunrise and running as fast as he could outside the door to the east and back again. Dyami didn’t like it at first but after having to be in bed before nine because the Wi-fi was sporadic at best and there was nothing for him to do but learn Navajo string games from his grandmother, he found himself waking up early anyway. It was just so quiet out there, Mom, he told me, that you can hear your thoughts… and other things.

“Do I need to get dressed? Maybe something nicer?”

“You already look great, Mom,” he says in a tone that reminds me of his father. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I focus on the road so I don’t start getting teary-eyed. As fun as this surprise seems, it’s also giving me hope—too much hope—that maybe Benny did manage to make it down here after all. But what if it’s just something Dax and the gang cobbled up so I won’t feel too lonely?

“Come on, Mom, cheer up. It’s not so bad that Dad can’t make it tonight,” Dyami says, dashing any remaining hope that Benny did make it back in town.

“Besides, you’ve got me,” Dyami adds. “I’m your Valentine’s date tonight.”

“That’s really nice, Dyami, and I really appreciate all this. I really do,” I say. “Especially the part about loving me more than Nana’s breakfast burritos. I bet that must have taken a lot to say that, right?”

He grins, his eyes straight ahead as if he doesn’t want to give himself away. “Yup.”

---