Page 22 of Every Breath

“Not as much as I like being with you and Dyami,” he says. “This is more like a bachelor pad, Sarah. And I’m not a bachelor. Not since I met you. Not since we had Dyami.”

“We were fine with it for twelve years,” I say, needing him to be sure about any decisions he makes, post-sex bliss and all.

“Is that how you’d like the next twelve years to be?” Benny asks. “His and hers?”

I shake my head. “No. Definitely not after we’re married. Or after… you know, the baby. Whichever comes first.”

“I’ll marry you today if you say the word, Sarah Drexel.”

“What about Noelle?” I suddenly ask, remembering her name flashing on his phone courtesy of his mother. But just as quickly as I say it, I realize I’ve just let him know that I peeked. “I’m sorry. I… I saw the notification when you were in the shower.”

“My mother tries only because she’s spent half of her life regretting her decision to follow her heart instead of her clan’s. And I get it. It’s why she married my stepfather, not only because she was a widow with a young child but because she knew she was being a good daughter by doing so,” he says quietly. “But she also knows how much like my father I am.”

“Your real father,” I say and he nods.

“I’m named after him. Benjamin Callum Turner. It’s what my stepfather wanted so desperately to beat out of me because I reminded him of my mother’s… first choice,” he says, tracing my cheek. “But the day I told you that you were the only woman for me, Sarah, was the day any hope that Noelle and I would ever get back together again died. I only have room for one woman in my heart, my soul, and it’s you.” He touches the tip of my nose with his finger. “Not to mention the biggest argument we had over Noelle had me away from you for three months.”

“I remember that. I heard you were miserable.”

“Nídin séli´i´ shijéí bináká hoodza´,” he murmurs. Missing you left a hole in my heart. “And I never want to feel that way again, shi'áád.”

“Me neither,” I whisper. “I was miserable, too. But we can both be too stubborn. I think we drove Nana crazy using her as the contact point.”

He grins. “Then we’re even.”

“So what happens now, Benny?” I ask. “What’s next for us?”

He rolls me onto my side facing him and rests his hand on my belly. “This is next for us, shi'áád. This. Our baby.”

“It’ll change everything,” I say quietly. “The things we do. The… you know.”

“Yes, it will,” Benny says. “But all things change. The things we do when we’re alone… it’ll always be there. Maybe a little different but it won’t change the way I feel about you. Don’t forget that.”

“And the wedding?”

“How soon do you want to get married?”

“I don’t,” I blurt out and his brow furrows. “I mean, not right away. I want to make it special, Benny, one that represents part of your heritage, not just mine. Because you do know how the Drexels will take over everything and before you know it, it will be green chile everything.”

Benny grins. “I hope not.”

I stroke his jaw, his beard tickling my fingers. “I know how important your mother’s family is to you, Benny. Even though you hardly talk about them, they’re a big part of you.”

He thinks for a few moments. “Then that will take time to plan, shi'áád. My family is quite traditional. Well, my mother’s side, that is. My grandfather may even gift your family a horse.”

Benny pulls me to his chest and I nuzzle my face in that favorite spot just below his collarbone. “But I’m in no rush, Benny. I have all the time in the world. I have you and Dyami.”

“And our baby.”

I nod, loving the way the words sound as they leave his lips. “And our baby.”

I can hear his chest rumble against my skin as he chuckles, the warmth of his mouth pressing on my forehead. “We have us.”

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