Page 6 of Every Breath

Chapter Four

Ugh.Valentine’s Day.

I know I’ve had it when the latest arrival of another bouquet has everyone gushing and swooning outside my office. That’s it. With the scheduling for the rest of the week done, I might as well hide at home and ride out the rest of Valentine’s Day by watching nature documentaries. Face it, it’s my first Valentine’s Day alone and I’m acting like such a baby about it.

And why shouldn’t I whine about it? I just learned some news first thing this morning and I don’t exactly know what to think. On the one hand, I’m ecstatic. On the other hand, maybe he should have been part of the planning. Not that I planned it, to begin with. But at least, I know one thing: I’m not coming down with some bug.

But Valentine’s Day isn’t exactly the best day to process the unexpected development. And as much as I swear that I don’t care about how it’s gotten so commercial, for the last twelve years, Benny has never missed an opportunity to prove me wrong. He’s always managed to be in town, leave me naughty voicemails and text messages, even give me silly cards like You and me are like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You’re hot and I want to be on top of you, before taking me out to dinner and afterward, show me exactly how we’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. Sometimes, even better.

Today? Nada, zilch, nothing. It’s like he disappeared off the face of the earth. He did warn me he was going to be busy since his bosses were flying up today to join them on the field. I should be happy I got to talk to him for a bit last night before Dyami insisted he needed some manly advice from his dad and proceeded to talk to Benny for fifteen minutes before Benny said he had to go. His colleagues were meeting him for dinner. After I hung up, Nana and I helped Dyami get every card for his Valentine’s Day card exchange perfectly folded and tucked inside its envelope—although there was one card he refused to let us see at all, not even a peek.

Maybe that’s what Dyami and his dad were talking about last night, about some girl he probably has a crush on although he’s really too young to think of such things. I remember rolling my eyes as Dyami cast a curious look at my direction while he was on the phone as if admitting to his mom that he’s got a crush on some girl is the worst thing he can tell her. I shake my head as I get up from my desk and shut off my computer. Men and their secrets… not that it’s doing me any good for Valentine’s Day.

The office is abuzz with energy as I step outside my office. There are bouquets of flowers on every desk along with red balloons screaming Valentine’s Day and everyone has that glow of love on their faces. It doesn’t help that my first whiff of daylilies has me sneezing and I rush back into my office and shut the door.

Yep, I need to hide for the rest of the day, alright. I can’t take any more of the flowers or how commercial the day has become… and how I’m not a part of it because my partner’s not here.

* * *

I spotthe note tucked under my windshield wiper the moment I turn the corner to the parking lot. My heart quickens when I recognize the handwriting.

Go to the place where we first met. Not the one in ABQ but the satellite location by Taos Plaza. And no, don’t call me or text me or the surprise ends the moment I pick up.

I look around, wanting to shout Benny’s name and tell him how dare he spring this on me now. He knows I hate surprises. But then, he also knows how much I love a challenge.

I get in my car and drive to Zia Moon, a small coffee shop that serves one of the best coffees in the state and every other Friday night, they hold a Poetry Slam where poets young and old stand on a stage and recite their poetry. It’s also where Benny and I first met thirteen years ago, although it was at their main location in Albuquerque close to the university.

The place was packed, and he’d been hogging this one table and my friend and I needed to sit down and discuss a paper we were presenting in a few days. We asked if we could join him and he simply gestured to the chairs with his chin before returning his attention to his laptop. I still remember watching his tanned fingers resting on the table, a hint of a tattoo on his forearm peeking from under the sleeve of his white button-down shirt. Broad shoulders, muscled thighs under tight jeans from the glimpse I caught when I had to pick up a pencil off the floor, with skin that told me he clearly spent a lot of time outdoors, Benny looked nothing like the serious graduate student vibe he was projecting.

I don’t even remember the specifics about the paper Jenn and I were presenting, but it involved something about diabetes and its high prevalence among Native Americans. When I said something about how fry bread had a painful history with the Native Americans, that’s when Benny actually looked up from his laptop and listened to what I had to say. I did my best to pretend I didn’t notice him listening, but it was impossible. I could feel him looking at me—really feel him—and it made my belly clench.

I’d heard about how some people just make you tremble with excitement and anticipation and Benny had that, him with his intense dark eyes and a smirk that I had wanted to wipe off his face at first. There was raw power behind those lashes but if he thought I’d fall at his feet groveling for his attention, he was wrong. It didn’t take too long for me to demand what the hell he was looking at and that’s when he learned that no one messed with Sarah Drexel either.

“Hey, Sarah! Happy Valentine’s Day,” Maura, the barista greets me the moment I walk in. The place is not so busy but they’ve decorated it for the holiday with red flowers and balloons. On the stage, someone is setting up a banner that says Galentine Night Coffee Mixer and at the bottom For ladies celebrating ladies.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” I say as I scan the room, looking for a familiar face until I find one sitting by the window.

“You made it.” Harlow gets up from her chair and in three strides, envelops me in a warm embrace. Harlow once told me that she was never a hugger, preferring to keep people at arms’ length and if she did greet someone it was the European way, cheek to cheek. But all that changed when she met my brother. Now she can’t dispense hugs enough and how I love her for it.

She guides me to the table and we sit down. “So what’s going on?” I ask as she signals Maura that we’re ready to order. “What if I don’t want to order anything?”

“Then I’ll order,” she says stubbornly. “Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too,” I say, eyeing her suspiciously. “Did Benny send you here? Is he coming home?”

“I don’t know,” Harlow replies. “All I know is that Dax told me to meet you here.”

My eyes narrow. “He did?”

“Yup, he said you wanted to meet for coffee.”

I’m going to kill Dax when I see him again. But then I pause, remembering that the handwriting on the card wasn’t anything like Dax’s chicken scratches. It’s Benny’s handwriting, I’m sure of it. Even the warning that if I called him, everything would be over is so Benny. Only he can pull off something like that with me.

“Everything okay?” Harlow asks as I take a deep breath, hating that I have no idea what’s going on and I’m being a spoil sport. I should really just chill and enjoy her company.

“Yes, everything’s fine,” I say as Maura comes over and asks us what we’re having. The Zia Moon doesn’t really have a full kitchen, so it’s primarily sandwiches and coffee but I don’t mind. I’m so nervous I can barely eat anything, anyway.

We spend the next half hour enjoying lunch while talking about what’s new with me. There had been a steep learning curve when I first started managing the agency and although the owners stayed for two months to show me how to do things, it was Harlow who helped me weather each day. She and her best friend have a private practice in Manhattan and she helped me understand the mindset of a business owner. After all, that’s what I am now.

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