Page 32 of Scion of Chaos

“Because those shards were all pieces of me. Of this prison.” I gaze around at the dark walls that glow faintly now that some of the power that crafted them has returned to me. “I was just reclaiming some of my own flesh.”

The dildo remains hovering between us.

“But not that one?” she asks, cheeks pinking faintly.

“That’s one part of me that belongs to you now. And it can help you reclaim your memories if you repeat your ritual with it. What you’ll need to do is anoint yourself with the essence in the bottle. Pour it onto your chest. Then use the object as you did the first time.”

She swallows, her gaze darting to Pan. Her cheeks glow brighter, but I don’t need to look at him to know he’s grinning.

“You said there were two options. What’s the second one?” she asks, returning her gaze to me.

“The second is to repeat what happened at theendof your lost memories.”

“And I suppose you know what that was?”

Pan lets out a throaty laugh and clops closer. “We should. We were there.”

Nemea bites her lower lip, eyes shifting between each of us. When she releases her lip, it springs from her teeth redder than before and slightly wet, making my mouth water with the urge to kiss her.

“So Rachel was right—you reallydidsmash and dash, didn’t you? But both of you? How the hell could I not rememberthat? How do I know you aren’t lying trying to get me to fuck you both for the first time?”

“You still have option one,” I say.

“And I still have this.” Pan moves to my side and holds out his hand. Looped around two fingers is a thick band of silver with a void glass gemstone set atop it.

17

Nemea

Istare at the silver cock ring I made just a few days ago. I thought I’d lost the thing, but this makes so much more sense somehow.

There are pieces I should be able to put together, but they just aren’t there. Pan—thePan—has the cock ring. That was made for him. How he came into possession of it is no doubt part of what I’m missing, but all I’m left with is an undeniable urge to climb the big, beefy satyr like a tree.

I’m so fucking conflicted right now. I want my memories back, but if what Vesh and Pan suggest is true, I had some kind of crazy menage with them and they made me forget.I should be pissed, right?

But I’m just too damn fascinated by everything that’s happening that I can’t bring myself to be upset. I gingerly slide the jeweled ring off Pan’s fingers and reach up, dropping it over the tip of the void glass dildo that remains suspended in front of me. It slides down with a little clink, coming to rest at the very base.

“For the record, I wouldn’t have let him erase your memories if I knew that’s what he was going to do,” Pan says.

“If you both were there, you could just tell me what happened and we wouldn’t have to relive it,” I suggest.

“I’m fine with that,” Vesh says. “But would it really be enough for you?”

He gives me an earnest look, and I absently rub my wrists where he grabbed me earlier. The heat of his hands lingers in tingling cuffs that haven’t disappeared since I made him release me. Being close to him on the trip here felt good. It feltright. And neither of them are looking at me like they’re hoping to nail me right now. They both look a little worried, but maybe it’s because of what Vesh said earlier—that I’mdangerous. Based on Vesh’s expression at the time, I know it was my fault the place shook like we were experiencing a minor earthquake.

I glance between them, heart pounding. Not with fear, though; no, that would make too much fucking sense, wouldn’t it?

Psychologists say that your body remembers trauma even if your mind blocks it out. Does the same thing apply to pleasure? If they both fucked me stupid, and Iliked it, is the coiled desire deep in my belly my body’s memory of the experience and desire to revisit it?

I try to form some sort of pros and cons list in my head, but the hovering void glass dick is too goddamn distracting. I sketched it—and its owner—the night before crafting it, then rubbed one out while staring at the sketch. And the first night I got touseit is still a vivid memory, even if what happened immediately afterward is gone.

Without even realizing I’m going to do it, I grab the thing and push back onto the bed.

“You promise this will work?” I ask, dropping the dildo on one pillow before leaning down to start unbuckling my bootstraps.

Both of them stare at me for a beat before Vesh slowly nods and rises. “Yes. We’ll let you have some privacy. Just remember to use the essence.”

“No. You’re not leaving me alone in here. I don’t trust you not to lock me in. You’re both going to stay and watch.”

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