Page 44 of Ruthless Prince
“It doesn’t matter. We’d like to know your motivations, whatever they maybe.”
“Okay.” I bit my bottom lip. “I have an anxiety disorder. I’ve been taking medication and going to therapy for a few weeks, and I’ve been told to put myself out in the world more often. Force myself to be around people. Find my crew. That sort of thing.” The words were tumbling out of me now, and I couldn’t stop them. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. “When I was asked to join tonight, I thought it sounded like the perfect opportunity for me. Societies like this are so tight-knit. Like second families. So that’s why I accepted. I think I need something like this in my life. I think it could helpme.”
“That’s a good answer, Willow. A lot of our members see the Order as a second family too. Some even see it as their only real family.” My interviewer cleared his throat and made a note before going on. “Thank you for your honesty about your anxiety. We do thorough checks on our potential pledges, but for some reason, that didn’t come up for us. Your father really should’ve told us, but I suppose it slipped his mind due to how busy he’s been lately. Still, I apologize for theoversight.”
I blinked. “I was only diagnosed a few weeks ago. That’s probably why it didn’t comeup.”
“I apologize anyway. If we’d known, we may have approached things differently in regard to our hazingtechniques.”
“It’s okay. Can’t do anything about it now,” I said. My voice sounded slightly strange to me now, as if I were hearing myself speak throughwater.
“All right, moving on. In the ceremonial chamber, you were told that you will be rewarded with your greatest desire if you succeed in attaining Order membership. We know that desires can and often do change over time, but right now, what would you say yoursis?”
“Freedom,” I said automatically. I didn’t even think about it; the word just flew out of mymouth.
“Freedom? What do youmean?”
“I mean for the last few years, I’ve felt like I live in a cage,” I said. “My mom has been involved in politics for as long as I can remember, but my life only became like this when she won the vice presidency three years ago. It got even worse when she becamepresident.”
“In whatway?”
I sighed. “Just the way I’m always being watched, and the way I can’t do anything. Not properly. I’d love to be normal again and do all the things I used to do, even for just one day. Like when I was sixteen, I had this Vespa I was allowed to ride for an hour every day. I loved that. Or my walks around the neighborhood with our dog. I loved doing that too. It’s so simple but so out of reach for menow.”
“I see. Most new members want things like more money, more connections, and lucrative job opportunities. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say they wantfreedom.”
“Oh. Sorry,” I mumbled, feelingstupid.
“No, don’t be sorry. It’s another good answer,” the interviewer said. “And let me tell you, if you make it through the initiation period, we will do our best to help you. We have places you can go where you will be free to do whatever you want. No security guards following you everywhere. No people watching and analyzing every move you make. No paparazzi stalking you. The place you are in right now is one of those safe locations, though there are many. All secure. Totalfreedom.”
“That soundsamazing.”
“Moving on. It’s time for ConnubialBliss.”
“What’sthat?”
“It’s a rite of passage for our new members, and an annual tradition for full-fledged members. Essentially, you tell us about your love life. Every single detail, no matter howsordid.”
I shifted in my seat, licking my dry lips. “Why?”
“It’s a sort of bonding experience. It’s also useful for ensuring our members don’t slip up and share information with outsiders about the Order. No one wants the details of their sex life shared in public, if you know what I’msaying.”
“I see.” I kept squirming. My face felt hotter thanever.
“You may beginnow.”
“Okay.” I twisted my hands on my lap. “The thing is, I don’t really have any experiences toshare.”
A surprised titter went through the crowd of robed witnesses. The interviewer tilted his head to the side. “You have none atall?”
I coughed nervously. “Yes. That’sright.”
“I have to say, I don’t think I’ve ever had an answer like that,” he said, surprise stark in his tone. “If you weren’t hooked up to all these gadgets, I’m not sure I’d even believeyou.”
I stared at my lap. “Well, it’s true,” Imumbled.
“So you’re really a twenty-one year oldvirgin?”
“I’m twenty,” I said indignantly, though that was a ridiculous stalling tactic. My birthday was only a few weeksaway.
