Page 45 of Ruthless Prince
“I apologize for my tone, Willow. I don’t mean to shame you. It’s just quite odd to encounter a woman your age who has absolutely zero sexualexperience.”
I frowned. I didn’t think it wasthatweird. One of my brand new college friends was a virgin too. She told me over coffee last week that she planned on waiting until marriage for sex. She wasn’t religious or anything; it was just a personal choice. It was actually quite common thesedays.
“Would you mind sharing why you’ve waited so long? Is it due to religiousbeliefs?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “No. Not at all. I just don’t have any desire for that sort ofstuff.”
“So you’re saying you’reasexual?”
I chewed on my bottom lip. “I don’t think I’m completely asexual, no. Sometimes I feel… twinges, I guess. Like when I was a teenager and had my first kiss. I definitely felt something then. But after that, it just… died. I don’t know why or how to explain it. My friends talk about feeling all this stuff and getting turned on with guys, but I can’t relate. When I see a sex scene in a movie or a hot man, it’s like I’m looking at a nice piece of art or something. I appreciate the beauty, but I don’t feel anything beyondthat.”
“Nothing atall?”
I shrugged again, wishing I could melt into the floor. “I still feel those twinges on occasion, but it’s rare. Veryrare.”
And usually when I find myself around the asshole I shared my first kiss with,I silently added, not wishing to add that particularly humiliatingdetail.
“When was the last time you feltit?”
I almost cringed at the question. It was so personal. So invasive. I didn’t want to answer it at all, especially seeing as the last time I felt that hot, tingling thrill was when I hallucinated the masked man slicing my nightdress off and gazing at my nakedbody.
Normal girls didn’t get turned on by stuff like that. Not even a tinybit.
“On the night of a ball I attended a few weeks ago,” I ended up saying. It was technically true, and it was the closest thing to a lie that I could approximate rightnow.
An awkward silence descended upon the room. If I suddenly heard crickets chirping or spotted a tumbleweed rolling past my legs, I wouldn’t be surprised in theslightest.
“All right,” the interviewer finally said. “That’s very interesting. I can’t say we’ve had anyone like you in here before. I’m sure everyone is pleased by it,though.”
I arched one eyebrow. “Pleased?Why?”
Did they enjoy sacrificingvirgins?
“Your lack of experience will make this interview go much faster than usual. Last year, we had a young man in here who took two and a half hours to recount all his sexual exploits. Over two hundred and fifty women, Ibelieve.”
“Wow.”
I had no idea how someone could manage such a feat. If that guy lost his virginity at sixteen—the average age for first sexual encounters—and was twenty-one at the time of his pledge, then that meant he’d gone through fifty women every year. Almost one perweek.
I simply couldn’t imagineit.
“There’s just one stage of the process left now,” the interviewer said. “It will, however, be the mostdifficult.”
I stifled another drug-induced yawn. “I’mready.”
“As I mentioned earlier, we expect members to share information with us as a bonding experience, but also as a means to ensure none of them are tempted to speak to outsiders about the Order. We know from experience that people don’t always take vows of absolute secrecy seriously. That means additional measures must be taken. The Connubial Bliss reports are one of those measures. Secret-keeping is theother.”
“Secret-keeping?”
“We ask our members to share their deepest and darkest secrets with us. Things they are ashamed of. Things they would never, ever tell anyone else. Things that could destroy them if they ever got out to the public. It doesn’t matter if it’s something illegal. Absolutely nothing leaves this room. It’s merely a security measure forus.”
My brows rose. “Sounds likeblackmail.”
He chuckled. “Yes, that’s essentially what it is. We keep the secret for you, but if you try to reveal anything about the Order to the outside world, your secret is revealed. You destroy yourself by trying to destroyus.”
“Isee.”
“We’ll give you a minute to think, Willow. Then we’ll ask you to share withus.”
