Page 24 of His Master

“It’s wrong,” I said, lowering my head and letting the tears flow again. “It’s so wrong. It’s an insult to everything omegas have fought for all these years. It’s disgusting and depraved. I’m betraying every omega who came before me by wanting to be servile and objectified. My brother would laugh at me, and then he’d be nauseated by the things I want. I’m supposed to be a strong, proud omega who wants a career and prestige, not a sub who is content to kneel naked at my alpha’s feet with his cock in my mouth as he ignores me and carries on with business.”

Victor said nothing at first, but the feelings I had from him were loud and roiling. It was weird, but I could feel him thinking, like he was having a conversation with someone in a room down the hall and I could hear the sound of his voice, but I couldn’t make out the words.

Finally, after so, so long, he moved on the bed again, throwing one leg around me so that I sat between his legs as he caressed my face and neck.

“Simon, look at me,” he said, so much dominance in his voice, whether he knew it or not.

Of course, I had to look at him then.

He cupped my face again and said, “There is no shame at all in submission. None.”

I kept silent, but gave him a look like he was wrong and like it would do no good for him to placate me like that.

“I am absolutely serious,” he said as if my look had been words. “You are who you are. That isn’t an insult to omegas everywhere or a betrayal of omegas who have struggled for a place at the table in the past. That was their struggle, and we all honor it, but that doesn’t mean you have an obligation to fit yourself into a role in society that you don’t want.”

I had my doubts about that, too, and I let him know with a look.

“Hey, I’m no expert,” he went on, holding my head with both hands, “but I feel like I read an article at some point that talked about omega DNA and how some people just have all those genetic switches flicked for instinctive submission. Thousands of years ago, apparently, omegas were more subservient than alphas or betas, way more than most are today. It’s entirely possible that you’ve got that going on genetically, on a cellular level.”

“I…I’ve read those articles,” I said, guilt and hope warring within me. “I’m not sure about the science.”

“Sweetheart, you’re living the science,” he said. “Didn’t you just tell me today has been the best day of your life and that you’ve loved every sadistic, dominant thing I’ve done to you?”

I nodded, my face hot with embarrassment. I would have bowed my head, except he wouldn’t let me.

“Simon, there’s absolutely zero shame in embracing the way you were made,” he said, completely certain and with authority that made my heart zing. “You don’t have to feel guilty or embarrassed about finally being able to make peace with yourself and be who you are destined to be.”

“But people will think I’m horrible,” I whispered, tears starting again. “Society looks down on omegas like that. They’re considered gross and offensive.”

“By who?” Victor asked, like he would fight anyone who dared to say that about me.

“By everyone,” I said. “My brother makes fun of them all the time.”

Victor hummed and nodded. “So really, you’re concerned about what your brother thinks of you.”

I sucked in a breath. I desperately cared what Hayden thought of me. Hayden was so much better than me in every way, and I loved him. I didn’t think I could bear it if I confessed who I truly was to him and he turned his back on me.

“It’s everyone,” I said, closing my eyes and going heavy with misery.

“I don’t think you’re weak or gross,” Victor said, his voice so tender that I opened my eyes again. “I think you’re incredibly brave for embracing this part of yourself. I think you’re beautiful and desirable. You’re not the only one loving this fantasy. Everything about you makes me hot and hard. You bring out parts of me that I’ve tried to squash and that have made me do some questionable thing in the past.”

I blinked and looked at him with more focus.

“Yeah, I haven’t always been a saint,” he confessed with a sigh. “Just because I’ve played this fantasy before doesn’t mean I’ve always done it right or felt good about what I’ve done.”

For a moment, something dark and bitter fell over him. It was strange, but it felt like the negative image of the same guiltand shame I’d always felt for the pulsing knot of subservience in my soul. I just sort of knew that he had stronger dominant tendencies than maybe he’d been letting on, and they’d hurt him in the past.

“I like that about you,” I whispered, caught between feeling like it wasn’t my place to tell my master how to be with me, but sensing he needed to know I was open to him. “That’s what feels so wrong to me. I like that you could be cruel to me.”

Victor huffed out of his spiraling thoughts and gave me a weak smile. “So really, what we’re both saying here is that we bring out the primal things in each other.”

“I…I think so,” I said.

Actually, I knew it. And as wild as it was, I felt better. I still had a long, long way to go before I could even start to make peace with the darkness within me, but I had a light at the end of the tunnel now in the form of Victor. I felt like I could be myself, or at least try to find who that was, with Victor and he wouldn’t judge me. He would help me.

I slipped off the bed and knelt on the floor beside him, resting my forehead on his leg.

“You are my master,” I told him. “All I want to do is obey you and please you.” I glanced up and met his eyes. “For this week, this fantasy,” I said, feeling a quiver of excitement and rightness in my gut. “I think I can block the guilt and fear out for this week, as long as I’m with you. But I don’t want you to hold back on me because you feel sorry for me or anything.”

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