When she finally moved away, my shirt was soaked with her tears, and she was wiping her cheeks frantically.
“I hate this. It’s my fault that things turned out this way, but I’m sorry, Josh. I love you, Josh…I love you so much.”
It was heartbreaking to see her like this. Jenny was always vibrant, and I loved her spontaneity the most. I fell in love with her within weeks and it was the best thing that had happened to me at the time.
What happened to us?
Jenny hugged me again and I consoled her before leading her to the couch in the visiting area. Once we sat, Iris took the spot by her side, took her hands, and held them tight.
“It’s alright, mom. It’s alright now. We’re going to be a family now.”
Jenny nodded, and she laughed. Iris kept consoling her and saying all the right words while I sat there in silence. I was trying to wrap my mind around all of what was happening.
Iris was calm, as she spoke to Jenny. She had been doing this for a while without me, so it was expected. I wished I had known about Jenny’s illness sooner. That way, I would have visited her.
Jenny and I might have ended our marriage, but it didn’t mean I no longer cared for her. If anything now, I wished I had tried to reach out to her earlier.
Guilt and regret washed over me as I sat there and watched my daughter stay strong for her mother. Over the years, my anger and grief consumed me, and it had taken a long time for me to get over the hurt of Jenny’s affair.
Now was not the time to let that grief hold me. she needed me now more than ever, and I wanted to be there for her.
Our visit lasted a few hours, then Iris and I left the hospital and I drove Iris to the airport because she had a night flight on her schedule.
“Dad,” she said to me when I pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. “Thanks for coming with me today. Seeing you made her happy.”
I nodded, then stroked my daughter’s cheeks and smiled at her. “I want Jenny to be happy, and most importantly, I want you to be happy.”
Iris looked like she had something on her mind, and I waited for her to muster up the courage to speak. She licked her lips, cleared her throat, then blew air out of her mouth.
“Dad, I’ve been meaning to tell you this…The last time mom was lucid she asked to come home. There isn’t much the cancer treatments can do for her now, and she’s made up her mind to rest it out before it’s time…”
Iris croaked as she said the words, and tears shimmered in her eyes as she stared at me. “I know it’s unfair and you’ve got a lot going on with Bree and the baby, but mom’s sick and I really want her to be happy in her last days. Can you do this for me, please? Can we let her come home?”
“I …I don’t know what to say,” I stammered.
Iris held my hand tight, and she closed her eyes. A tear slid down her cheek and it broke my heart to see her cry.
“Just think about it,” she whispered. “Please, promise me you’ll consider it. She’s only got a few months left and I want her to be happy in whatever time her memory takes her back to. I know it’s hard, but …”
She broke off, and I shushed her before hugging her again. “Go on your trip,” I said to her. “I’ll think about it, I promise.”
Iris kissed my cheek then nodded before she got out of the car and took her suitcase with her. Her trip would last two weeks, and I knew I ought to have an answer for her by then.
How do I handle this?
* * *
A few days later,I ran into Bree at Rue’s bakery. She was serving the customers with delight when I walked in, and as soon as she spotted me from where she stood behind the counter, the smile on her face faded.
“What would you like?” she questioned in a stiff tone when I got to the counter. My heart rose with emotion just from seeing her, and I couldn’t muster a reply to her question at first until her brow arched and she tapped a hand on the counter.
“Right, I’d like two lemon meringue tarts please.”
“Coming right up,” she said, then began inputting my order into the system in front of her.
“I’d also like to talk to you,” I said. When Bree didn’t look at me, I added. “Please, Bree, I’d need to talk.”
She sighed, met my gaze, then took off the apron she wore. “Fine, let’s talk.”