Page 54 of Off-Limits Silver Fox Billionaire

Bree came to join me in a booth with my lemon tart, and once she sat, she linked her fingers in front of her.

“How did the appointment go? You know I wanted to be there…I hate that you didn’t let me.”

“I don’t need to let you do anything, Josh,” she answered, but her jaw remained stony, and she wouldn’t meet my gaze.

“Look at me, Bree,” I said then reached out and touched her hand. “Look at me.” when she finally raised her gaze to mine, I held it steady and said slowly. “I want to be a father to my child. I want to be in my child’s life.”

“I know that,” she said. “It’s just me you don’t want. I got that part real clear.”

“You know I want you…This isn’t about not wanting you.”

“Then what’s this about?” she cut in. Her voice was edgy, and she shifted in her seat. I noticed her lips quivered, and her hands on the table trembled too.

Without thinking, I laid a hand on her trembling ones and held them tight. “You’re not alone in this. I might not be the kind of man you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I care about you and that baby. Things are just a little bit complicated right now—I am a little bit complicated right now. If I let myself love you…If I give in to that selfishness then I might end up hurting us both, Bree and I don’t want that.”

She had been staring at me the entire time, but now she finally blinked and looked away. Bree withdrew her hand from mine, then tucked it under the table.

“You know I really thought we were good together.”

My spine stiffened at her words, and a knot of nerves felt a hollow feeling in my heart.

“I thought you were happy with me Josh.”

“I was,” interrupted. “I was happy, Bree. I am happy whenever I’m with you. It’s just …I can’t open myself this way again.”

“You should have thought of that before you made me fall for you,” she said. She wiped both her cheeks in one sweep of her hand, then she heaved loud.

“I’m getting myself together, Josh. I’m having a baby, with or without you and I don’t want to see you. It’ll only make this harder than it already is.”

She rose to her feet and walked away at first, but stopped halfway, then reached into the pocket of her jeans and took out a tiny photograph. “Here’s the baby,” she said as she handed it to me. “I’ve thought long and hard about running away and never letting you see either of us again, but I don’t want that for my baby, so I won’t.”

She handed me the photograph then walked away. it took a second before I could stare at the ultrasound. My baby was so tiny, and beautiful in there. My heart ached just from looking at it.

The first time I saw Iris in her mother’s womb back then too I was brought to tears. The same nostalgic feeling rose in me now.

I picked up the paper bag of my lemon meringue and headed out of the bakery. The rest of the day at home, I stared at the ultrasound and tried to decide what to do about Jenny.

It felt wrong to keep thinking about Bree when I was considering bringing my ex-wife home to live out her days. My brain knew the right thing to do, but my heart wouldn’t follow.

My heart was with Bree and that was what made this difficult. Letting myself love her was a risk. It could end badly with her getting hurt, and I didn’t want that. My muscles tightened as I thought about Bree.

Iris and Jenny needed me right now too, and so I had to be selfless. I knew forgetting Bree wouldn’t be possible, but I had to try for both our sakes.

A few years from now, she would meet some man who could give her his heart without inhibitions and let himself go fully with her. I couldn’t be that man for her noteven if I wanted to.

24

BREE

Aweek later, I strolled home from Rue’s bakery while enjoying the evening breeze. The summer was slowly coming to an end now. Soon the colorful trees and flowering plants would lose their valor, and the petals would start to fall.

The island would experience the chilly winds and cold nights, but it hardly ever snowed here, so there wasn’t much to fear. I would only miss winter in New York because of the snow and the vibrant nights.

Here in Oahu, the locals would party at night as usual and spend long hours on the beach even though the ice-cold air bit into the skin. Now that I had more than myself to worry about, I was conscious about how much time I spent outside in the cold, and also how much sleep I was getting.

Rest is important,my doctor had said to me, and I was intent on making sure my baby stayed safe and healthy.

I arrived at my house, got in, then fixed myself a cup of warm coca because I was craving that. After enjoying the treat, I sat in my kitchen with my laptop and started to write an article for my blog.

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