But what?

That’s the real question. I can’t work outwhatthe hell I want from her. I can’t ask for the girl I’ve missed all these years, because she’s long gone. The sweet, passionate girl I went to high school with and fell head over heels with is no more. Now there’s an aloof, bitter person who can’t even look me in the eyes properly, who calls me ‘Mr. Marshall’ and doesn’t answer any of my questions.

How dare she?

She’sthe one who ghosted me,she’sthe one who ran off to have a kid and marry someone else. I wanted her, I would have stayed with her forever. I was planning on a future with her. I didn’t want her to go... and I certainly didn’t want her to come back likethis. This isn’t right either.

Having her so close to me but so out of reach doesn’t work for me.

Having her here just makes me realize how much I’ve missed her…

A tingling sensation runs up the back of my neck, making me aware of Clara’s arrival even before I turn to see her. It seems that nothing has changed in these last few years, I’m still acutely aware of her body at all times. She still has this annoying effect on me, which pisses me off even more. I don’t like it one bit. I almost don’t want to turn to see her but I can’t seem to stop myself. I don’t have any control of my body at all.

It seems likeshedoes though.

“Hi, Clara.” Shit, now I sound all friendly. That wasn’t meant to be my attitude. Why the hell does she make me feel like such a mess? This woman has ahusband. What the fuck? I can’t be all friendly with her when she’s married to someone else.

“What’s going on?” she snaps, not treating me the same way. “What’s the big emergency? Where’s Carl?”

Urgh, her tone fucks me up even more.

The fact that she just doesn’t even want to acknowledge me after I was accidentally friendly with her is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced with her before. It’s going to be a struggle to contain myself.

“We don’t know what’s going on with the horses,” I inform her, trying to be as cold and aloof as she’s being. “You came here and did your checks, have no answers yet. I think since we’re paying you so much, we should at least know what the hell is happening with the animals. Don’t you think?”

“Sure, that’s no problem. Iamhere for that, and I did give Wyatt some info on how to help Daisy yesterday…”

“Okay, well don’t worry about Wyatt,” I bite back. “Just tell me what’s going on. I deserve to know what it is.”

Unfortunately, she does exactly that. She starts talking and spilling out everything I’ve asked for, but some of her specialist technical language goes way over my head. It’s this kind of stuff that I really need to brush up on if I’m going to be in charge of the ranch. I know what I need to know… but I guess now I need to know more.

Then again, there’s no need for Clara to speak to me like this. She could easily break it down and explain it to me in simpler terms. This is just another way for her to piss me off and act all cold hearted towards me.

I could fucking scream.

But if I call her out on this, then she’ll know that I don’t know what I’m talking about and no way am I giving her that satisfaction. I need to save face, if we’re playing this game, whatever this game is, then I need to remain as stoic as I can. I have to.

“Right, well… that’s serious,” I snap once she’s finished talking. I hold my breath waiting for her to call me out, but she doesn’t. That’s something at least. “This is the sort of shit that we need to know. I mean, if we aren’t made aware of everything then what would happen if the animals died? Don’t you think that would be your responsibility as the vet?”

“I have other responsibilities as well,” she replies quietly. “I have to help my son get settled in here.”

“That isn’t what I’m paying you to do.”

That’s harsh and I can see her face crumble, but it’s too late for me to take it back now. I’ve said the words and there’s nothing I can do. But her son is a reminder of everything else she has in the world. Everything that isn’t me.

“So… let’s go and see the animals, shall we? Do you have time for that in your schedule?”

Fuck, I’m going over board, and it’s not right or fair to her, but then it’s not fair on me either. I’ve spent three fucking years missing her, but she doesn’t seem to give a shit about me.

Surely, she missed me too?

The relationship couldn’t have meantnothingto her. I can’t believe that, not when we risked so much. We could have gotten caught by Wyatt at any moment. I just need her to admit it. I can’t explain why I have to hear that; it doesn’t make any sense, but rationality isn’t my biggest priority at the moment.

I part my lips, about to argue some more, but before any words can come out, Carl arrives and silences me completely. I don’t need him to hear all about my personal problems; I want to make a good impression about the sort of boss I’ll be while running this ranch. I fall into an irritated silence instead, stewing in my misery. It rockets through my body and burns me up inside. I feel a bit like a tightly coiled spring about to erupt and explode.

“Ah, you must be the vet,” Carl says with ease. “Can we have a chat about what’s going on here?”

“Yes, absolutely.” She smiles sweetly at Carl. “I would love to go through it all with you. I’ll get a proper report written up for you all.”