Page 25 of Knocked up By the Mountain Man

The tyrant is about to speak.

“It makes no sense for us both to drive,” he replies dismissively. “It’s a waste of gas, for one. Plus, you don’t know where you’re going, and I don’t want to have to keep slowing down so you can catch up. This is just better.”

“Sure, right.” What’s the point of arguing? Logically, he’s right, but that doesn’t mean I like it. “Okay then...”

I point towards the car, hoping we can just get going already. The quicker we leave, the faster I can get back home and back to my son. While Wyatt doesn’t mind looking after Thomas and he doesn’t mind being with his uncle, I don’t want to be away from him for too long. I didn’t come back here just to be away from myson, purely because Beau needs me to. Would he be so keen to take me away from Thomas if he knew his true identity?

Luckily, that’s something I’ll never have to find out. My resolve to keep this tyrant away from Thomas has only been getting stronger the more time I spend with him.

I feel Beau’s eyes on me as I slide into the passenger seat of the car, but I refuse to look his way. I don’t want to give him any more of my time than I need to. This is already painful enough; I’m going to attempt to not give him any reason to snap at me as he likes to so much. I want to get through this without falling apart if possible.

“It’s about an hour away,” he informs me as he starts up the engine. “If there is no traffic, that is.”

The idea that I’m now going to be spending an hour with this man crushes me. It feels like the walls of the car are closing in on me. But I don’t let the panic show; I simply nod and keep my gaze firmly out of the window.

“I’m going to put some music on,” Beau says quietly, clearly wanting to break the tension between us.

To be honest, I’m glad because the silence is killer. At least if there’s music, we might not need to engage in any small talk. I don’t reply though; I continue looking out of the window, which thankfully is enough for him to carry on regardless.

“Any preference?”

“No.” I shrug my shoulders, still not looking. I just can’t. “I don’t mind what we listen to.”

The music comes on, and a flicker of recognition hits me hard. I know the song; I can feel it deep within me, but the stirring of where I can place the song doesn’t come right away. I just know it’s from a long time ago, from my past life, and something I’ve purposely not listened to for a very long time.

But the more the guitar strums, the more it hits me.

Die a Happy Manby Thomas Rhett.

A song Beau and I used to listen to. A singer I loved so much I actually named my son after him. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it in more depth, I remember that the last time I heard this song was when Beau and I had sex for the first time. My God, the memory is so vivid now it actually hurts. I can hardly breathe under the pressure of it. I certainly can’t look around to see if Beau knows what the fuck he’s doing to me.

Is this torture?

Is he doing this on purpose to try and wind me up?

Because it’s working. My God, is it working.

I can’t cope; my brain is spinning under the sheer pressure of it. I’m starting to think all sorts of things. Is this meant to elicit feelings in me? Or is it to let me know he knows Thomas is his? I can’t work it out. I need to look at him to know. I need to gather myself as much as I can and twist my neck a little bit. Even if it seems impossible right now.

Oh my God.

The moment I see him, my heart stops beating. Beau doesn’t look bothered at all, like he isn’t feeling a damn thing about this song. How is that even possible when it’s crushing me from the inside out? Maybe our little fling really didn’t mean a thing to him at all. If this song playing is innocent, then I really am a fool. This is too much.

My chest tightens.

Panic settles into the pit of my stomach and consumes me.

Too damn much.

“Stop,” I finally rasp out once the nerves start churning into an intense sickness. “Stop the car. I need to get out for a minute.”

I probably look and sound like a total fool. Like an idiot who’s losing her shit, which is the worst thing that could happen right now. But I really do think I’ll throw up if I don’t get away from this song and suck in air.

So much fresh air.

It’s going to take eons for me to feel anything like normal again.

Thankfully, the car stops soon before I lose it totally.

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