Page 46 of Knocked up By the Mountain Man

“Clara, no,” I say, reaching out to take her hand. “It isn’t like that.”

She pulls her hand away, standing up and pacing back and forth. “But that’s just it, Beau. As long as we’re here, that shadow will always hang over us. No matter what we do, people will always see us as the trouble makers, the ones who don’t belong. I can’t do this to you, to Thomas. We can’t live under that burden forever.”

“Clara…”

She rises sharply to her feet, looking unsteady. “I should have known better than to come back. This is a mistake.”

She stops suddenly, swaying on her feet. I leap up, grabbing her arm to steady her. “Clara, sit down. You’re not well.”

She shakes her head, attempting to pull away. “I’m fine, just stressed.”

“Clara,” I insist, my grip tightening just enough to hold her in place without hurting her. “You’re not going to figure out anything like this. Sit down before you fall down.”

She looks at me, and for a moment, I see the fear and exhaustion in her eyes. Then her knees buckle. I catch her before she hits the ground, scooping her up in my arms.

“Beau, I’m fine,” she protests weakly, but her body tells a different story.

“You’re not fine,” I say, carrying her to the house. “Let me just get you inside, okay? Thomas, come on, let’s go.” I call out to him.

She leans against me, allowing me to guide her inside with Thomas following behind. I get her to bed and watch as she drifts off to sleep. Stress shouldn’t do this to anyone. I really am going to have to keep an eye on her, because it seems like everything is becoming way too much. For everyone.

21

CLARA

Urgh.

I still feel like shit. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but it’s not pleasant. Thank God Thomas is at daycare, so I can have some time to recover. I kinda wish Beau was still with me, but I get it. He has a lot to sort out at the moment, with the ranch and his Dad, plus Ididinsist a million times that I’m fine. Wyatt still isn’t back…

So I guess I really am here on my own.

As I look at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but notice the pallor of my skin, and the dark circles under my eyes. I’ve been so stressed, and worried about everything, that I haven’t taken a moment to really listen to my body.

A wave of nausea suddenly hits me again, and I clutch the sink, trying to steady myself. The feeling is all too familiar, and as I sit down on the edge of the bathtub, an awful realization dawns on me. I’ve felt like this before. The overwhelming fatigue, the nausea, the dizziness.

I had felt like this once before… years ago. Back when…

It can’t be, I think, my heart pounding in my chest.

But as I count back the weeks in my mind, it all adds up. The last time I felt this way was when I was pregnant with Thomas. A mixture of fear and disbelief washes over me. Could I be pregnant again?Really?

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the rising panic threatening to overwhelm me. There’s only one way to be sure. I need to get a test. I have to do that before I allow myself to spiral. So that meansnow.

I quickly get dressed and grab my keys, heading out to the local pharmacy. But it quickly hits me that I don’t have options here like I did in Lewistown. I’ll have to sneak this purchase in the same place I did last time. Garrison’s General Store. Not ideal, because everyone knows everyone there, but I need to go anyway, with my head held high. I’m not a scared teenager this time... just a scared adult. One who’s already a mother.

Since Wyatt never found out last time, I just have to hope that my secret will be kept again.

Oh God…

I groan and get to my car, my mind racing with a thousandwhat ifsas I drive down the familiar streets.

When I pull up to the store, my heart is pounding. The creak of the wooden floors and the ding of the doorbell as I enter the shop spikes my anxiety. I take a moment to steady myself, breathing in the mixed scents I’ve always associated with this place. The rich aroma of coffee, the earthy scent of leather, and the warm, woody smell of the building itself.

I scan the store, relieved to see that the owner, Hank, isn’t at the counter today. Instead, there’s a young woman I don’t know, busily stocking shelves. She glances up and throws a friendly smile my way but she doesn’t seem to recognize me, which is a huge relief.

I make my way to the tiny health and beauty shelf, my heart hammering in my chest. The pregnancy tests are on thebottom shelf. I crouch down, trying to make it look like I’m just browsing. My hands tremble slightly as I pick up a box, glancing around to make sure no one is watching.

I might be an adult now, but I don’t think I’ll ever lose the teen in me while I’m in Silver Ridge.

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