Page 107 of Big Bad Wolfe

At the loss of contact, he felt adrift. Alone. Being close to her restored the ragged edges of his soul. Pushed back the cold, fathomless darkness inside. The yearning to fully immerse himself in her light surged through him, leaving him shaken.

Surrendering to the insane longing, he tugged her into his lap. “Relax me?” He stared into her startled eyes, inches from his own. “You know what would relax me, sweetheart? Doing the horizontal hustle with you until neither of us can walk.”

Her pupils dilated. “Well then,” she whispered. Her breathing quickened. “Let’s dance.”

His heart crashed into his ribcage. Was he being selfish?Maybe.

Stupid?Definitely.

But he was so cold. And it had been forever since he’d felt warm.

As he bent to kiss her, reality slapped him upside the head and he jerked back. “Dammit,” he whispered.

Disappointment clouded her face. “You’re backing out on me again?”

“No. Not for—Shit.I don’t have any condoms.”

“Me either. But … you’ve had a vasectomy.”

“That only covers one responsibility.”

“Ah. Right. I’m not exactly thinking straight here. Knowing you like I do, I can safely assume you don’t take chances.”

“Never.”

Neither do I. But it’s been a really long time for me, and I’m perfectly healthy.”

He inhaled. Exhaled. “Me too.”

“Zane.” Her soft voice feathered over him like a caress. “Make love to me.”

Her tender acceptance, the sweet expectation in her eyes threatened his hard-won control. No woman had ever looked at him like that in his life.

Like he was the center of her universe.

Ravenous impulses rioted through him. He tensed every muscle against the urge to jump her like a randy teenager. This time, he’d hold back if it killed him. This time, he’d go slow, give her unforgettable pleasure.

But first, he had to make sure she had her head on straight. “This won’t change anything, I still have to leave.” He held her gaze. “Happily ever after isn’t in the cards.”

Small, soft hands tenderly cupped his cheek. To a man who’d lived a lifetime without gentleness, Jillian’s touch was rare and precious. She smiled. “I still want you … and only you.”

She was everything he’d ever needed, ever longed for. The rightness of her touch made him want to linger in her arms forever.

Sorrow ricocheted through him. He wished he could have forever.

But he had here.

Hadnow.

He lifted her upright so she was straddling his lap facing him, and kissed her, finding paradise in her sweet mouth. She absorbed his pain. Absorbed his guilt. Absorbed his grief. And gave back tenderness.

Yeah, he was pulling the pin on a live grenade. But he didn’t give a damn.

He’d lock the dangerous, painful feelings deep in his heart and let his body take over. For a short, cherished interval, he would allow his actions to show Jillian what he didn’t dare speak aloud.

* * *

The look in Zane’s eyes, a bewildered combination of need and terror, tugged at Jillian’s heart. She wanted to reach inside him and heal his grief. Ease his pain. She slid her arms around his neck, clinging to him.

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