Page 61 of Big Bad Wolfe

“Enough tragedies for me to know I should never attempt to be a family man.”

“I have some idea of what you’ve been through.”

“No, lady. You don’t have a clue.”

“Why don’t you enlighten me?”

Maybe if he were honest with her, she’d understand the futility. “My old man is a corporate raider. He scents any weakness like a shark scents blood. He buys vulnerable companies, fires everyone, chops the business into pieces and sells off the assets. He annihilates people’s lives for the almighty dollar … and relishes it. My family doesn’t know how to love … only destroy. My mother destroyed herself. My older brother destroyed two wives and his own son. My father destroys everyone who crosses his path.” He inhaled unsteadily. “Including my little brother.”

Small, warm fingers covered his where they’d clenched on the tablecloth. “What did he do, Zane? Can you tell me about it?”

He shoved away from the table, paced to the window. But he couldn’t escape the pain. “No. No matter how hard you stare at the scenario through your fairytale lenses, it’s goddamned ugly.”

Footsteps whispered behind him. Her palm stroked up his rigid spine. “And you’re paying for the sins of your father by sentencing yourself to a lifetime of self-imposed seclusion? You’re never going to take the chance of being truly happy?”

“How can I risk a taking a chance at your expense?”

“I’m a big girl. I’m responsible for myself. For my reactions, my feelings.”

“What about Casey’s feelings? A messy entanglement will only end in heartbreak. Not just for you, but also for him.”

“You acknowledge what your father did was wrong and don’t want to repeat it. Realizing that is half the battle. It won’t be easy, but if you honestly want to, you can change the pattern.” She moved closer. “I trust you, Zane. With myself and with Casey. I told you, you just have to learn to trust yourself.”

Entangled in barbed emotions, he swallowed shards of glass. “You’re a strong, brave, smart woman. Smart enough to know some things are so broken, they can’t be fixed. I’ll never be the man you believe I am.”

“If you let your father’s actions dictate your choices, then he’s still controlling you.” Her arms wrapped around him from behind in a hard, reassuring hug. “And I thinkyou’rea whole lot smarter and a whole lot braver and a whole lot stronger than to allow that, Special Agent Zane Wolfe.”

He closed his eyes, staggered by a wash of unfamiliar emotion.

Hope.

She hugged him again, then stepped away. “It’s late. Come and finish your dinner before it’s stone cold. Then we should both get some rest.”

His glance flicked sideways to the made-for-sin four-poster bed. Jillian had turned down the lush comforter, exposing smooth ivory satin sheets and luxurious satin-covered pillows. All that was needed to complete torture was candlelight and rose petals.

And his wife’s beautifully responsive naked body arching beneath him.

Cold sweat prickled over his skin. Not only would Jillian’s nearness tempt him beyond reason, but he’d never spent the entire night with anyone. Sex was one thing. Letting down his guard for the ultimate intimacy of falling asleep beside a woman required a level of trust he didn’t possess.

Zane forced his gaze back to the stars, studied the glimmering constellations outside the window with fierce concentration. Familiar, faithful friends, the stars never changed, never let him down. He thought of all the nights he’d gone to bed alone, watching them. All the mornings he’d woken up alone.

Thought of all the nights and mornings yet to come for the rest of his life … alone.

Because there’d never be another woman who could take the place of the one he’d married.

And no matter how hard he wished for a miracle, life had taught him one lesson. Miracles did not happen.

* * *

Happy birds chirping woke Jillian. A yawn sneaked out of her as she turned her head.

She was all by herself in the decadent bed.

The other side appeared untouched, the pillow plumped, the sheets and comforter immaculately smoothed.

The newlyweds had finished dinner in stilted silence, then awkwardly climbed beneath the covers together. Zane had stayed as far away as the king-sized mattress allowed, muscles taut, stiff back to her. Unused to sleeping with anyone, she awoke often. Each time, she could feel waves of tension radiating from him. She’d bet he hadn’t slept a wink.

She sighed softly. The erotic explosion between them after the wedding had been an astonishing revelation. Tingles zipped over her. If she and Zane had had a real wedding night, the sheets would be tangled in a pile on the floor, their naked, satiated bodies entwined in contented slumber. His reserve sure as hell didn’t carry over to sex. He’d loved her as fervently, as wickedly as a fallen angel, fiery and uninhibited.

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