Page 120 of Please Hate Me

He dropped my hands and began stroking my hair.

“Ain’t a thing for me to be mad at. I just want to make sure our baby ends up with a nameyoulove.”

I took a deep breath, sinking into him as he massaged my head. The more time I spent in this house with these ghosts from my past, the more I wanted to stay. My life was starting to make sense here... and the sex wasincredible.

But Sebastian and I had planned a future together. What would he say if I asked him to stay here instead?

But I was being presumptuous—nobody had evenaskedme to stay. If I was going to consider living in Hartwood long-term, I would need to wait for some confirmation that I was actually wanted here.

Chapter 32

Sebastian

three weeks later…

I sat in my SUV, chain-smoking, watching the wind rustle through the half-dead leaves clinging to Sophia’s apple trees. Three weeks had passed since I started pursuing Cameron. Though I had cleverly used romance to shroud my intent, my true interest rested purely in apprehending him. However, indicting Cameron was taking much longer than I assumed it would. I had no concrete evidence that he’d committed any crimes. But I was used to long chases—that wasn’t the issue.

The real problem was, the closer I got to him, the less he screamed, ‘I’m a serial killer’. If hewerea murderer, he probably would have at least attempted to kill me to keep his secret safe. At the very least, he’d be preparing the usual ritualistic sacrifice with Mason. The previous victims of the Sons of Christ had all been “tested” exactly thirty-one weeks into their respective pregnancies. I was certain there was some twisted reasoning behind that timeline, but I had no idea what it could be.

All I knew was that the house had not yet been set ablaze.

Besides, Cam’s personality didn’t appear to contain any of the sociopathic tendencies you’d expect to find in a cold-blooded killer. On the surface, he was kind—and incredibly patient with Mason, which was the quickest way to earn my favor. But I couldn’t ignore the glaring evidence that something was amiss with Cameron Cole.

I had conducted several discreet interviews with him, Lucian, and Sophia individually. Cameron had opened up to me a bit about his past, but he wouldn’t tell me where he was born. He’d also told me his parents were dead, whereas Sophia claimed he simply didn’t speak to his father. And Lucian, despite being heavily involved with the church, couldn’t tell me why Cameron had been sent to France, nor why the church had been closed during his absence. It was as if Saint Samael’s couldn’t exist without Cameron.

I knew he was involved with the Sons of Christ. I just didn’t know how. Which was terrible, considering howdesperatelyI wanted to kill him.

He was getting too close to my girlfriend, and I didn’t like it. Every single night, he’d try to convince Mason to change Lavender’s name, and I was fairly certain she was considering it. I told Mason that I was okay with whatever she decided, but that was an outright lie. I wanted her to shoot him down immediately. She needed to stand her ground—to tell him she loved me, that I was Lavender’s father figure, and that it wasmyright to name our daughter. But she never did.

Come to think of it, Lucian was pissing me off too. He was constantly fawning over Mason like a love-sick puppy. To make matters worse, he doted on her every need before I had the chance. If she was craving fruit snacks? He’d come home with a 60-pack as soon as I grabbed my keys to head to the store. Her shoulders hurt? He’d dash over to give her a massagebefore I could even blink. She was feeling stressed and incredibly overwhelmed? Lucian would run her a bath, light candles, and tell her to unwind. I had never heard her ask Lucian to do any of that—it was like he just fuckingknew. It was as if he and Mason were connected by an invisible thread, one that allowed them to know each other’s thoughts. What could I possibly be missing?

Never in my life did I think I’d envy a felon, but here I was, wishing I could be more like my degenerate brother.

The heat of my cigarette kissed my fingers as I exhaled one last puff of smog before extinguishing it in my car’s ashtray. I had been smoking more recently, and the tray was getting pretty full... but it still closed, which meant the chore of emptying it was better saved for another day. I stepped out of the driver’s side before popping the hatch to retrieve the goodies I had purchased for Mason. I always brought her gifts when returning from a work trip. This time, instead of flowers, I elected to snag a few things for the baby.

My suitcase stared back at me as I neglected to grab it. I wanted to up the ante with Cameron Cole, to see him actually afraid, so I left a white shirt saturated with the blood of my last extermination in my luggage. I didn’t want to risk anyone else, especially Mason, seeing it. And so, here it would stay.

I locked my vehicle as I headed to the porch. Though it was barely autumn, the wind was bitter as it whipped against me, almost causing me to drop my presents for Mason. Fuck, even mother nature was annoying me today.

Fortunately, I knew just how to escape her. I fumbled with my keys for a moment before locating the bronze one that matched the front door’s lock. I held my breath as I opened the door, and a rush of excitement filled my veins. As soon as I saw Mason, I’d feel better. I always did.

Upon entering the house, my face was immediately blasted with heat and the smell of pumpkin spice. A nine-foot-tall sprucetree, half-decorated with orange fairy lights, stood in the center of the foyer. The lack of pine scent hinted at the fact that the tree was plastic, rather than wood, but you’d never guess based on appearance alone.

In any other house, a Christmas tree at the beginning of October would be a strange sight, but Sophia was a chronic early decorator. Apparently, Lucian used to throw a fit any time she brought out Santa Claus before December first, which led to the creation of what Sophia liked to call ‘the holiday tree’.For the final three months of the year, the tree would remain up and decorated for each of the main holidays. Part of me wondered if this was just Sophia’s excuse to redecorate every month.

I slipped my shoes off before shutting the door, the house creaking as I did. When I looked up, Cameron was descending the steps, holding a storage bin labeledHalloween. His face didn’t light up when he saw me, but he no longer grimaced when I came home. He paused for a moment, our eyes locking before he continued walking.

“You’re home.” A tight-lipped smile crossed his face as he placed the box on a nearby table.

I breathed in the tension between us. Since my confession, Cameron and I were caught in a never-ending dance of hostility, thinly veiled under forced adoration. However, we only kept the façade when surrounded by others.

Mason’s goodies joined Cameron’s box on the table, and I placed a hand on his shoulder. I had been trying to work up the gall to kiss him, but honestly, I was too far out of his league. To kiss Cameron Cole would be to belittle myself, and I would avoid doing that at any cost.

“You’re home.” he repeated. His tone seemed carefully measured, so as not to sound too irritated with my presence.

“I am,” I breathed. “Where’s Mason?”

He rolled his eyes before shrugging me off and unfolding the top of the box. After a moment, he pulled out a length of orange lights and began carefully winding them around the tree.

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