Page 124 of Please Hate Me

I parted my lips just in time for Lucian to feed me. The salsa was spicy, the chips were salty, and this moment was absolutely perfect.

“Mmm, try that again,” Sophia challenged.

“I’m being a good boyfriend!” Lucian gasped. “I’m feeding our—”

“One.” Sophia held up a finger.

Lucian didn’t pay her any attention as he focused on the bag, unloading each of our lunches onto the desk.

“Two.” Sophia arched a brow as she studied Lucian.

“Go ahead, count to three. You won’t do shit.” Lucian looked up from one of the wrappers.

Sophia held up a third finger. “Don’t make me say it.”

“What? Are you going to make me write lines again?” Lucian snorted. “Your punishments are getting old. Either smack my ass or let me dom.”

Sophia grabbed her salad before leaning back into her chair. Lucian wore a self-satisfied grin. Assuming that would be the end of their bickering, I reached for my burrito. The first bite was all tortilla, so I ripped a chunk off before shoving a few chips in. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to finish the whole thing, but I was going to enjoy what I could.

“You remember that attitude of yours when you get home tonight.” Sophia looked at Lucian as she speared a chunk of chicken with her fork.

He rolled his eyes, but I was excited to see what Sophia had in store for him later.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a teeny-tiny bit disappointed to see Sebastian’s SUV when we got home. Of course I had missed him, but I didn’t want to drop everything to run up the steps and see him. I was having such a good time with Sophia; I didn’t want it to end just so I could go have five minutes of mediocrewelcome-backsex.

Was that terrible? It felt terrible.

Sophia glanced over at me as she pulled into the driveway beside Cameron’s orange Toyota Tundra.

“Something wrong?”

Was there a way for me to tell her the truth without sounding ungrateful? If it weren’t for Sebastian, I wouldn’t even be here. I would have stayed in one of the many rooms in my dad’s mansion, barely acknowledging the fact that I existed.

In a lot of ways, life was easier that way. No one pushed me to be better or tried to drag me out of my impenetrable shell.I could fester, not only in my own self-hatred but also in the animosity my father harbored toward me. But, even if I didn’t deserve the people around me, I enjoyed having their help. It was like I had been thrown into the world’s deepest hole, and the four people in this house were helping me climb out.

Sebastian was the anchor, the one holding the end of the rope. Even if the others walked away, he would be there, making sure I didn’t fall again. It made sense for me to prioritize him, but... I didn’t want to.

Why was I always so selfish?

“Am I a bad person?” The words escaped before I could stop them.

Sophia’s eyes widened as she pressed a hand to her chest. Why was I burdening her with this? God, why couldn’t I just be fucking normal?

I prepared an apology, a speech worthy of Miss America. I didn’t mean any of it, but it would sound believable enough to earn her favor. However, compassion took over Sophia’s ocean eyes. She placed a hand on my shoulder, softly squeezing it as she gave me her undivided attention.

“I need to know why you think that.”

I held my breath as I considered my response.

“Sebastian is home, and I don’t want to go see him.”

Her golden brows shot up, but her face remained judgment-free.

“I need to know the reason behind that, too.”

My lips pursed off to the side as I thought of a nice way to tell her my boyfriend wasn’t good in bed. You’d think a man with a pierced cock would understand how to please his partner.

“Sebastian... usually wants sex when he comes home.”

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