Page 45 of Please Hate Me

But when I met her, she turned all my assumptions upside-down. She seemed to know everything about everyone. She said she was just good at reading people, but still, that was a talent.

As the sunlight seeped through my window and warmed my cheeks, I was surprised nobody was out on the wraparound porch. It was a nice day, probably one of the last ones we’d have before the chill of Maine claimed what was left of September. Glancing at my watch, I realized we only had about an hour of daylight left. Everyone else was probably having supper.

I’d been at the church for way longer than I’d liked. Each of the elders asked a thousand questions about the mission trip. Did I recruit anybody? What community service did I do? They were especially curious about whether or not I had done the one thing I was supposed to. I told them all no, but that was a lie.

Sophia texted me hours ago to let me know her morning with Mason went well, and that she was open to the idea of joining our relationship. She just needed time. That should’ve made me happy; Mason seemed great. But it felt dirty that she was linked to me through the baby. If that fact got back to my congregation, she’d never meet Lavender. Neither of us would.

A family wasn’t meant for me, and it was best to keep her at arm’s length... Even if that meant letting her fall for a creep like Sebastian.

I couldn’t put my finger on what was off about that boy. His presence sent chills down my spine. It was like something was missing in his gaze—a necessary component, the absence of which made him seem inhuman. But I tried to chalk my suspicions up to my hatred of cops.

As I sat there, my gaze shifted from the farmhouse to the cigarette in my hand, its ember flickering and fading. I took one last drag, savoring the bitter nicotine on my lips before flicking it through the window.

I couldn’t let myself become the anchor that dragged Mason down, but I felt more than a little guilty for knocking her up. I also felt this…warmth around her, almost too strong to ignore. Those feelings were a dangerous mix, and I knew our future was entirely in God’s hands. Unfortunately, that sadistic fuck hadplansfor me.

With a heavy sigh, I opened the truck door and stepped onto the gravel path leading to the farmhouse. The crunching of gravel beneath my boots echoed in my ears. I ran a few fingers along the door, reveling in the memory of Sophia before opening it. Warm light spilled out, and the sound of forks on plates stopped as I removed my shoes.

“Welcome home, Cam! How was church?” Sophia chirped as I headed toward the dining room.

I fought the urge to wrinkle my nose in disgust. I wasn’t keen on being a pastor, especially right now. But this was the life Dale had chosen for me, and it wasn’t one I could walk away from.

“Same as always,” I muttered, taking the spot between her and Lucian.

I grabbed the salad, hoping it’d been made by Lucian, and loaded my plate before moving on to the pesto pasta. ThenI noticed the rest of the chairs were empty, and my brow furrowed.

“Is Mason with Sebastian?” I asked.

“Seb isn’t home.” Lucian poked at his salad, pushing food around but making no attempt to eat it.

“Oh… Then where is she?” I wasn’t exactly looking forward to a meal with her, but pregnant women needed to eat.

“In Seb’s apartment… Lucian scared her away.”

Lucian’s silverware smacked off the table with enough force to cause ripples in Sophia’s glass of lemonade.

“I did not!” he huffed. As he shrunk into his chair, I could tell he wasn’t being truthful.

“Oh, sorry. Lucian told her she’d be a bad mom,” Sophia corrected.

“I did not—” a sharp look from Sophia stopped Lucian’s protest. “If you want to get technical, I told her that James didn’t love her, which is true.”

“...Who’s James?” I vaguely remembered Mason talking about a fiancé when we met. Was that the guy?

“James Albright, her dad, who I’m sure loves Mason very much,” Sophia explained. “Even if heisa little... confused.”

“Confusion leads to getting lost, not forcing your pregnant daughter to starve herself,” Lucian grumbled.

His aside caused a full-on argument to break out between the two of them. But I was used to Lucian and Sophia bickering. She swore up and down that he wasn’t this angry when they were younger, but I had never known Lucian to be any other way. Part of me wondered if these two would have ever been able to stay together in a monogamous relationship, but now certainly wasn’t the time to bring that up.

I wanted to check on Mason, even if it was a bad idea. She wasn’t mine to take care of, but it wasn’t right for me to leave her alone with the problems I’d caused for her.

My chair squeaked as I stood, drawing their attention.

“And where are you going?” Lucian asked.

“I, uh, I’m gonna go check on Mason.”

Lucian shouted something in response, but I was already hurrying up the stairs, not wanting to talk about this more than I had to. I’d just do a quick wellness check, nothing more.

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