Page 65 of Please Hate Me

“So, you’re not like, making yourself throw up, right?” He shifted his weight, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap.

“It’s morning sickness.” I spit a mouthful of minty foam into the toilet, then flushed away the entire contents of my stomach.

His brow furrowed. He gently snatched the toothbrush back from my hand and tossed it into the sink.

“What?” I asked.

Lucian’s gaze flicked down to my stomach before he refocused on me.

“You’re wearing my boyfriend’s shirt,” he stated.

I forced a smirk. “I’m wearing my baby daddy’s shirt.”

Lucian’s gaze darted down to my stomach once more. It was then that I realized what he was looking at. Even though Cameron’s shirt was much too large for me, the way I sat caused the denim-like fabric to lay against me rather than hang from me. I wasn’t intentionally hiding her like I normally did.

It was amazing what clothing choices and bad posture could do for hiding a baby belly.

“Do you want to feel the baby move?” I joked, hoping to ease the tension.

His eyes widened as he looked at me and then back at my stomach.

“... Actually, I do.”

I was stunned for a moment... but it made sense. Lucian always loved kids. He used to talk about wanting them all the time when we were teenagers. And obviously, he had two of his own now. I just thought... he seemed grossed out when he felt Lavender kick. Also, I was pretty sure he hated me.

He extended his hand, and all I could do was stare. It was more weathered than I remembered. The veins on the top of Lucian’s hand twitched as he moved his fingers. His nails were short and mostly coated with chipped black polish.

“I need you to guide me; I don’t know where she is,” he explained.

I hesitated a moment longer before looking back at him. “She’s not moving right now.”

“That’s fine.” He yawned, leaning against the wall behind him. “Unless you don’t want me to touch you, that is.”

There was an undeniable shift between us as my heart quickened.

“Don’t be silly. Why would I not want you to touch me?”

Other than Sebastian, Lucian was the only person who had felt her kick. No one else seemed to want to. Lucian’s interest in me was…. sweet, I guess.

“So, if you don’t mind, I’m allowed to touch your belly wherever?”

“You’re making this weird,” I complained.

“Consent is consent, Kitten. It doesn’t matter if it’s sex, touching, or even conversation. If you’re not comfortable, I’m not doing it.”

I blinked in response. Where was Lucian’s anger? Why was he being so understanding?

“You can touch me.” I whispered.

His lips parted into a half smile, and he leaned forward before resting his palm on the apex of my abdomen. The warmth in his hand seeped through Cameron’s thick button-down. My heart felt light.

We sat silently for a beat as he moved his thumb back and forth.

“You know, this is the part where you hold my hand,” he teased.

I wanted to argue with Lucian, tell him that’s not how this worked, but another wave of nausea sent me hurling toward the toilet bowl.

Instead of yelling, Lucian held back my hair and patted my back.

---