Page 85 of Please Hate Me

Jade continued to look at my nails; her hands were unbelievably soft.

“It doesn’t matter what I think. You’re the one who’s going to wear them.” My heart dropped, and I worried that I had made a mistake until Jade smiled.

“But I think they’ll lookgreat.”

Sophia couldn’t sit still after Jade finished her manicure, so she left to get drinks and a mall pretzel. Part of me suspected she was also going to make a call for work or answer a couple of emails while she was gone, leaving me completely alone with Jade for an unspecified amount of time. I kept my lips sealed tight, hoping she wouldn’t think I was a snob. I just wasn’t in the habit of talking to people I didn’t know; not anymore.

I had asked her not to touch my wrists, so it was harder for her to keep me in a good position, which was probably slowing her down. Having someone listen to my requests was new, but I liked it. The way Jade treated me made me feel human, and something in that action made me realize it’d been a while since I felt like that.

“So… are you working on any new music?” Jade asked as she finished shaping my nails.

I rolled my lips in as I thought. Was I working on new music? Yes, I had a whole notebook full of song lyrics that got vetoed by my label. Something about them being too soft for the image they wanted to create. Instead of authentic me, they wanted an edgy bad girl. But, right now, that didn’t matter; my career was on an indefinite pause until after Lavender was here. Maybe even longer, if I couldn’t shed the baby weight fast enough.

“Not really,” I mumbled.

Jade cleaned the dust off my nails before grabbing an opaque white polish bottle. An awkward silence fell between us, and I realized it was probably my turn to keep the conversation going.

“You seem really nice… why don’t you have a ton of customers?”

Jade’s eyes widened as she started applying the translucent polish. The color reminded me of cherry jam.

“I ask myself that all the time.” she admitted. “I think it’s either because I refuse to lower my prices to gain clients, or because the salon is empty.”

The second one made sense. When I saw an empty store, I thought for sure Jade’s work would be shitty—the kind of manicure that left your fingers bleeding, possibly with an infection. My lips parted slightly as I leaned in, wanting to watch Jade work as we talked. Her brush strokes were gentle and confident, and I loved the color she picked out based on my descriptions. It was easy to see that she enjoyed what she did.

“Is there a reason you won’t lower your prices just for a week or so? I’m sure if people saw how good you do, they would be more than willing to pay full price in the future.”

She hesitated, like she was mulling over what I said.

“Because I know what I’m worth. If you don’t stick up for yourself, who will?” Jade’s words were full of conviction, but her tone was kind. “If someone offered you a hundred dollars for a live performance, would you take it?”

I tipped my head as I thought. If my dad told me to, I would. But the way Jade said that sounded like I shouldn’t. How much did my tickets usually cost, anyway?

“No?”

A quick, sharp breath exited Jade’s nose and ghosted across my fingers. A soft smile graced her lips as she focused on her work.

“You’re a lot different than I thought you’d be,” she mused.

My nose scrunched. I couldn’t tell if that was a compliment or an insult.

“How did you think I’d be?”

“Honestly? Based on interviews, I thought you’d be angry and intimidating, and Sophia’s stories made you sound like you’d talk my ear off… but you’re quiet.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” My dad always told me it was annoying that I spoke so much.

“It can be, but you seem really sweet. I’d love to see you come back with a little confidence. I bet you have allsortsof interesting things to say.”

I jolted back slightly, keeping my hands as still as possible. My dad once told me that confidence wasn’t a good look for me; I always came off as cocky or narcissistic. But a stranger was telling me the opposite. Maybe it was because she didn’t know me; surely if she did, she’d understand how bothersome I could be.

Still, her comment caused my mind to wander. What would my life look like if I had the backbone to just fucking ask for what I wanted? Would Lucian, Sophia, Cameron, and Sebastian leave me for demanding too much? Or... would it be nice to be upfront about my needs?

The soft clicking of heels on tiles let me know Sophia was back.

“Sorry that took so long. The lines wereinsane.”

Sophia put a cup of pretzel bites with cheese on the counter near me and slid an iced coffee to Jade.

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