Page 98 of Please Hate Me

“What are you talking about?”

“When you went to shower, your dad came to talk to me. He told me I was ruiningeverythingfor you. And I listened!“ My voice cracked. “Instead of fighting for our relationship, I let him push me away from you, because I am acoward, Lucian. You deserve to be loved by someone who stands by you no matter what, not a flighty bitch like me.”

Creases formed on his forehead as shock took over his face—oh yes, this was perfect. Soon, Lucian would be so pissed he’d never look at me again, and I’d be allowed to hide in Sebastian’s apartment until this whole nightmare was over.

Slowly, Lucian’s confusion morphed into irritation.

“Seriously? You left because of mydad?”

I nodded. “He let me know how much I was ruining your life, and—”

“Ahht!” He held a finger to my lips. “I’m not done talking.”

My heart threatened to escape my throat as my spine ratcheted straight. I needed to brace myself for Lucian’s anger. I wanted to stand strong as he screamed at me. If I cried, he might forgive the inexcusable.

“So, you genuinely believed my sellout of a father when he told you my life would be better if you left?”

I nodded again, unable to do much else. Hearing my line of thought out loud was somehow worse than dwelling on it for years. But I deserved to feel uncomfortable. This was the long-overdue consequence of my actions.

Lucian’s nostrils flared as he slowly stalked toward me. I held my breath, preparing for his wrath. Lucian’s lips parted and thensealed as he stared me down. My eyes squeezed shut, and before I knew it, all the oxygen in my lungs was replaced with the scent of sage and sea salt. The rapid beating of Lucian’s heart filled my ears, drowning out the wicked thoughts playing through my mind like a movie as his arms wrapped around me.

Lucian’s touch was as warm and secure as I remembered. Worse than that, his presence still felt like home.

My exhale was shaky as I opened my eyes, trying to ignore how they burned as I tried and failed to lift my head from Lucian’s chest.

“Please, just hate me,” I whimpered.

“Believe me, Mason, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.” He cleared his throat. “For years, I thought you left because of me. Now I’m finding out my dad got in your head. I wish you’d justtalkedto me about it. I could’ve told you he was full of shit.”

Lucian took a deep, slow breath.

“If you don’t want to be part of our family, I need you to tell me. In person. No text messages or third parties.”

“I... can’t do that.”

I couldn’t lie to him. Despite everything, I wanted to be with Lucian. I wanted to be with them all.

Lucian extracted himself from my embrace. A tight smile crossed his lips as he guided me back to the island.

“Then I guess we didn’t break up,” he declared.

His hand remained on my back as I slid into the seat, my chest feeling strangely full.

“You don’t want to break up?”

Lucian shook his head before pointing to the sushi.

“Now hurry up and eat; I’m tired.”

“Then... go to bed? I’ll see you in the morning”

“Nope. You’re coming with me.”

Chapter 27

Lucian

When we went back to my room, I thought for sure Mason would want to sleep. I knew from secondhand experience that pregnancy was exhausting, and Mason needed to rest.