Page 35 of Reluctantly You

I snort at the thought and then sit up, walking into the kitchen to grab some water. I see Gideon asleep on the sofa, his large form draped across the cushions. He’s wearing a thin shirt that accentuates the lean muscles in his chest and arms, and I can’t help that my eyes drag down to his groin, where I can see the outline of his cock through the fabric.

I tear my gaze away and make my way quietly to the kitchen, grabbing a cup and filling it with water from the tap. I could have done this in my bathroom, but here I am, trying like hell to keep it together and failing miserably.

I don’t like him. He’s taken my life away from me, and he’s even been cruel about it. And yet my eyes still see what’s in front of me and something aches deep inside of my chest.

But I’m not…

I can’t be…

I glug the rest of the water down and then refill it, making my way over to the living room and stopping where he sleeps. My eyes scour him, lapping up every detail, storing it away for later.Something I can use against him, I whisper to myself, but really, my mind knows better.

My heart does too.

He was there to help pull me out of that dark hole, the spiral I was drowning in. The walk, the bath, the company, it all helped ground me and bring me back to the living.

I shuffle back to my room and slide under the covers, pulling out my phone and messaging each of my brothers. Magnus too. I don’t know why, or if I’ve been subconsciously thinking of doing this for some time. I don’t even expect a response, but I send it anyway.

I miss you.

I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing. Sitting up quickly, Little Shitty Pants meows at me in frustration. By moving, I’ve disturbed its sleep. Apparently, I’m to lie here for the next hundred years until I’m permitted to move.

“You invaded my home, you can deal,” I snark as I swipe at my phone and stare down at it.

Magnus. Oh fuck. He messaged me back.

My heart thumps, my chest squeezing.

Magnus

I’m not sure if I’m hallucinating from the mushrooms Sem put in my pasta last night or my oldest brother just messaged to say he misses me.

I blink down at it. He replied. Out of all my brothers, he replied.

I don’t know what to do, frozen here in my bed, staring at my screen.

I should reply back, but what if I say the wrong thing? What if I ruin it all over again?

Little Shitty Pants stares at me, and I rub under its chin. I should probably find out if its a boy or a girl. Not that it matters. It’s a cat after all—but just in case.

“What should I do?” I whisper.

It just stares up at me and yawns.

“Mitchell?” Gideon calls out. “You up?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking up,” I grumble and walk out into the other room, just as the blender turns on. I stare at my boss, his hair slightly mussed, his clothes rumpled as the machine churns loudly behind him. He looks…good. Warm. Inviting.

Nothing that I want. Nothing at all.

When the blender is done, he pours the green concoction into two cups and hands one to me.

“Get changed. We’re leaving in ten.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I murmur.

I sip at the smoothie as I make my way back into the bedroom. It’s good, healthy, something I’d normally make for myself. I hate that he’s here doing this for me, that he’s here at all, but I still change my clothes and make my way out to his expensive car. I bite my tongue, not saying anything about the vehicle with the plush leather seats and the fancy screen. What he buys is not my business. None of it is.

“Do you play basketball?” Gideon asks as he pulls out of my driveway and drives us to the gym.

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