Page 103 of The Moment Promised

And then I run.

I read once that running releases feel good hormones in your brain, and until I feel good, I won’t stop running.

Or until I pass out.

I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve started, but several songs have begun and ended. My lungs burn. Tiny dots prickle my vision, but I don’t stop. I keep running, even when the outer edges of my vision turn black.

I pull out my phone to let my mom know I’ll be gone for a little bit longer. The phone shakes so much in my hands as I try to keep my pace that I click on the camera app and my thumb accidently hits the red button.

Sweat drips into my eyes and impairs my vision, and I put my phone in my leggings, but the black edges in my sight take over.

25

I’ve always wondered how it would feel to die. Not the part leading up to it, but the actual moment your soul plunges from your body.

As a little girl, I would try to feel the sensations within my—very alive—body. Maybe my stomach would wrap around my heart like I was falling. Or perhaps one second, I would have all five senses and the next I would have a new one. Like instead of sight, I would justknow… I’d know what was around me, know who I was. Maybe I would just be a conscience without the weight of my own body keeping me in one place. Maybe I’d be everywhere all at once.

Or maybe everything would just fade to black.

It wasn’t until this very moment I’d start to wonder thehow.

How would I die? What would force my soul out of my own body, or better yet…who?

It’s dark behind my eyelids, but I’m awake. All my senses slam into me, one by one.

“52ndstreet. Yup, that’s it, I’ll let you know when.” A voice spits off Finn’s house number.

Every single organ inside my body stops functioning, even my heart.

I just…exist.

I can’t move, I can only sense my right side against cold tile.

I can’t see, I can only smell something metallic burning my nostrils.

I can’t scream, I’m stuck in paralysis. Frozen in place.

I open my eyes.

There’s a white washing machine against pale blue walls. I’m in my laundry room.

I slowly place my left hand on the ground to boost myself into a sitting position, my muscles scream in agony with each inch of movement. My hair is matted to my head on one side, it’s wet and sticky and before I can stop myself, I’m feeling the blood that clumps my hair together. I examine it on my fingers and my stomach twists and bile rises in my throat.

I swallow it back down and force the fight or flight response to keep me focused. I can’t be discrete about my sudden consciousness if I am throwing up. Who knows what Jason will do to me once he knows I’m awake.

Okay, okay.Think, Adeline.

The injury can’t be that bad if I’m awake. I’m in my own house, which gives me the upper hand. Granted, Jason is the one who bought this house.

Fuck. Fuck.Fuck.

Okay, okay. I’ll put on my big girl pants and just walk out, what’s he going to do? Tackle me to the floor and tie me down?

Well, he did kidnap me when I was passed out on a sidewalk and put me in a room with no windows.

I’m lightheaded when I stand so I feel the walls with unsteady hands until I’m holding the cold door handle in my sweaty palm.

With an all-too-loud click, the door is unlatched and the hinges squeak.

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