Page 49 of Magdalene Nox

“Is this why you’ve been so cryptic and cautious around me? Avoiding even the mention of us having been together months ago? I can’t even begin to gather my thoughts to address this, but surely you’re aware that I’m in the closet at school, and let’s set aside my ethics and decency, I wouldn’t be able to submit a complaint against you without outing myself in the process!”

There was so much to consider with this answer Sam had so carelessly thrown at her. So much. Sam’s ethics, Sam’s obvious anguish over Magdalene staying away from her, but what was akin to a slap was that Magdalene felt validated and yet supremely hurt that the mutually assured destruction strategyhadcrossed Sam’s mind. And yet, she was still unable to unleash the full power of her fury, no matter how much hurt there was behind it now.

“So what would you have me do? Every single person at Dragons hates me and wants me gone. Even you. To trust that you wouldn’t use what you could against me? How could I have done that when you yourself confessed to Timothy that you’d use every single advantage?” Magdalene all but vibrated with repressed anger. She had waved Sam’s words away back in her room, but the issue of the split loyalty, so obviously reinforced again today by Sam standing by Orla, had abraded Magdalene’s already raw feelings.

“And you do now? Trust me?”

“Well, if you had wanted me gone, or at least my reputation seriously damaged, out or not, you’d have already used this particular trump card against me.” Sam’s face was etched with worry, and Magdalene regretted the outburst. She was hurt, she felt all alone in her fight and yet, how was she supposed to fight dirty when this woman completely disarmed her?

“Don’t use that word. I think it has been forever sullied for me by that twice-impeached man who shall not be named.” As Sam had probably expected, the joke worked, and Magdalene felt the corners of her mouth twitch.

“As much as it hurts me to admit that you might be right, he did ruin the word forever. Shame, I rather liked what it meant once upon a time, Sam.”

The gray eyes lifted, and suddenly there was so much joy, so much sincere happiness in them, it took Magdalene’s breath away. Sam was obviously done with the topic, because she looked radiant. Magdalene turned to her fully and basked in that light, as if the sun had stepped into the room, leaving the outside dark and gloomy and filling the office with all its warmth. Sam smiled, dimples showing, making Magdalene a little lightheaded, then leaned closer and whispered almost against Magdalene’s ear, making her shiver.

“Say it again.”

Puzzled at first, Magdalene struggled to comprehend, but then Sam’s fingers on her shoulders brushed the skin uncovered by the loose collar of her blouse, and it was as if the interruption, the flowers, George, had never happened. The fire roared to life again, hotter than before, and she heard herself give Sam what she wanted.Gunpowder, indeed.

“Sam… Sam…” Her hand lifted once more, ready to assume what seemed like its rightful place on the nape of Sam’s neck. Except at the very last moment, the last vestiges of reason prevailed and Magdalene took a step back, her hand falling limp to her side. So much depended on her, and so much could be lost in one single moment.

Too close. Too close…

“I can’t, Sam. And I won’t apologize for why.”

“Magdalene…” Sam clenched her fists and looked like she wanted to howl at the moon that was currently obscured by the tempestuous clouds. But Magdalene just shook her head, refusing to acknowledge the longing in Sam’s voice. There was plenty of said longing to go around. She certainly wasn’t immune to it. But the stakes were too high and her dread too strong. Gunpowder or not, fear choked her regardless, and trust was never something she came by easily.

“You might’ve forgotten, in the hormone overload that just took place here, but while we’ve established my nascent trust for you, you still neither trust me nor like me and my decisions. In your mind, we are still very much on opposite sides of enemy lines. And above all that, I have a job to do, a job which I will not risk nor jeopardize in any way.”

“I didn’t draw those lines!” Sam moved forward, but Magdalene sidestepped her and moved away.

“You may not have drawn them, but you follow them by virtue of your loyalty and your staunch belief that I’m here to destroy everything you hold dear.”

“Aren’t you?”

Well, as blows went, this one landed fair and square dead center of Magdalene’s chest, where that wound she had nursed her entire life, had been slowly healing, unbeknownst to her. Sam’s hit did what any direct one would do to a knitting wound—it re-opened it, to Magdalene’s absolute lack of surprise. Sam didn’t believe her or in her. Well, what had she really expected, since just a few weeks ago she herself had no clue what she was going to do about the school?

And yet, now that she was steadfast in her pursuit of at least safekeeping it for the moment, it rankled that of all people, Sam was the one to still think this badly of her. Magdalene thought that she really should stop having these thoroughly foolish feelings of hope and faith.

“I believe this conversation is over, Professor Threadneedle.” Sam looked at her a moment longer, perusing her features like she was trying to memorize them. Like she’d never return again. It made Magdalene regret her words the way only Sam could. But then, without a single sound, she was out of the office and a few minutes later, Magdalene could see her walking in the pouring rain, alone.

14

OF MEDDLING MOTHERS & LIVE WIRES

Something had to give. Preferably not her sanity. Magdalene paced the confines of her office, Willoughby purring like a freight train every time she walked by him and gave him a quick scratch.

When did she get into the habit of never passing him by without a pet or a belly rub? How had this pudgy critter weaseled himself into her good graces? She smiled to herself, at her own steadfast denials of affection for the tom. She knew when. And she knew how.

Magdalene gave him a long look. He gazed back at her, purring louder, eyes slitted in ecstasy. Then, as if sensing that she needed something, he bumped his big, round head into her palm and left it there, making her carry quite a hefty chunk of his considerable weight.

Still, the warm and soft fur, coupled with the solid piece of cat in her hand, grounded her. The feeling of helplessness drained from her body, sped up by the vibrations of the purring feline.

The phone on her desk rang, making Magdalene flinch and reluctantly push Willoughby back onto his pillow. He chirped at her, a scratchy, rusty meow that sounded entirely displeased. Yeah, she could sympathize. It was probably another unhinged caller contacting her to give her more grief about whatever part of her running the school displeased them that day. Unless the mouthbreather had finally given up on her cell and resorted to the landline.

“Nox.” She could hear the fatigue in her own voice as she answered.

“Oh thank God, I thought it would bethat womanpicking up, seeing as how she is still your secretary and honestly, Magdalene, I fail to understand why you didn’t drop the man’s wretched name.”

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