Her lungs burned with the breath she was holding, but seeing George appear, face hidden, arms stacked high with papers and files, Magdalene was almost dizzy with relief.
George wouldn’t notice, and even if she did, she was loyal to a fault, and would have her back. She was on Magdalene’s side, no matter what, through years of trials and tribulations.
Nevertheless, as George dropped the handfuls of papers on the desk, any hope Magdalene might have held out that George would either not notice or not show disappeared as she turned pale and then, in the blink of an eye, beet red.
Her secretary opened her mouth, then seemed to reconsider and did not quite raise her eyes to either Sam or Magdalene. Her lover coming out was a momentous occasion, which took considerable bravery and Magdalene felt she must be a little brave too. Perhaps she had dragged this sapphic secret on for too long, and this was the perfect time to let George in on it.
Decision made, Magdalene took a couple of steps back towards Sam and reached for her hand. Now Sam was the one with her mouth wide open, clearly shocked by the overt display of affection.
“You’re adorable. Don’t worry about George, we can trust her. She’s been with me for the last twenty years. She’s by far the person who knows me best and knows all my darkest secrets.”
George stared, her shoulder drooping for a fraction of a second before she was back to her usual self, as she giggled and preened at the praise, just as Magdalene knew she would. There was something George loved above all other things: Secrets and being trusted with them. Especially if they were Magdalene’s.
Her secretary leaned against the desk, her entire face alight now after being confided in.
“Oh yeah, Maggie and I have been through pretty much everything together, haven’t we, Maggie?”
Sam’s fingers twitched in hers but she said nothing. Magdalene smiled and George exchanged a few words about the next day and meetings she would need to take before George left the paperwork on the pristine desk and departed with a long look and a wink directed at her. When the door closed, Sam tugged on the hand she was holding until Magdalene was fully in her arms again. Sam leaned in, but Magdalene’s nerves remained too haywire to give in. This had been such a close call. So instead, she gave her a little peck on the nose and stepped away.
“You make me a little crazy, Sam.”
“Just a little?” Sam’s pout was adorable, but Magdalene knew there were issues she should have addressed before consuming each other whole.
“Are you okay though, Sam? The coming out was impressive, but were you really ready for it?”
The pout turned into a shy smile.
“I didn’t think I was, until it was out in the open, so to speak. And then I realized that I have no idea why I’ve been hiding. Look at Lily, at Amanda, at the girls, they are all so brave, so true to who they are. They live their lives free of closet doors. Joel’s asinine accusations and his continuous attempts at trying to get rid of the LGBTQIA students might have spurred me on, but I think I’ve been ready for a long time. And I’m fine with this. It’s a little scary, but it’s also freeing in a way that I did not expect it to be.”
“I’m proud of you, darling and I’m sorry. I really am.” At Sam’s blank look, Magdalene elaborated. “Our reasons for maintaining this secret and for actually staying away from each other are still very much valid, Sam. Thank goodness that was just George, but what if it had been one of the trustees?”
“You mean Timothy?” Magdalene actually saw the green tinge those gray eyes for an instant.
“I wouldn’t have cared if it was Timothy. He’s the least of our worries and perhaps our only ally on that godforsaken board. Although I have to say Alden is completely taken with you, darling.”
Sam snorted.
“Yeah, right. I don’t know what’s up with him lately, but he’s been nice to me, which is something he’s never been all my life, so that’s weird.”
Magdalene sighed. Alden was a whole other minefield that she couldn’t begin to wade into now. The pesky reality of their situation, the sheer depressing nature of it, laying once again heavy on her shoulders.
“Give me some time. I’m looking into our options. The charter is fairly clear on the headmistress not being allowed to have any personal relationships with her staff.”
“That’s probably no longer valid under the current legislation, Magdalene.”
“Sam,” Magdalene whispered, and she knew her voice was pleading. Perhaps because she so seldomly asked for anything, Sam’s eyes turned sad, but she shrugged and then nodded. “Sam, you’ve seen the vultures circling. They will use anything against me now. You’d think at least Orla would be pacified by my plans, but she seems to hate me even more than before for ‘desecrating’ her precious school and allowing the ‘dirty locals’ on the premises.”
Sam tugged on her hand again, and this time Magdalene allowed herself to be held. After all, it felt so safe, so good. Why should she deny herself the small pleasures? There would be precious few of them for the foreseeable future. She sighed and burrowed deeper into Sam’s warmth. Before soon, they were face to face once again, and a kiss was as natural as breathing, then another and another. They kissed and kissed again, soft, easy expressions of love that were more about future promises than current reality.
Their foreheads touching, she felt Sam nod again, the tacit agreement to anything and everything Magdalene had asked of her. She sighed then, the remnants of anxiety leaving her. Sam was with her. They would do this together.
23
OF OVERRATED SALVATION & CHALK HEARTS
Asense of profound and unwelcome déjà vu hit her when George rushed into her office, breathless. Magdalene bit back a sigh. This meant only one thing, and that was gossip. On any other occasion, she might have indulged. But today of all days, Magdalene was weary, the kind of tired that came from a long period of exhaustion. Her world had tilted, slightly out of alignment despite the row of victories she’d scored just a few hours ago.
The last time George had been this out of breath and excited, Alden and Sam were having their chat, which ended up taking Magdalene on the roller coaster ride of her lifetime, from the lowest of the low to the highest of highs. She was not in the mood for anything similar.