Page 120 of Until Then

Silence falls once again. I let it linger for a moment before saying, “We better head inside.”

Nodding, Derrick reaches woodenly for the door handle.

He manages to get the front door unlocked without difficulty, and when he pushes it open, Wonton greets us, bouncing excitedly at our feet. Ignoring him, Derrick heads straight upstairs.

Wonton lowers to all four paws and cocks his head at me, as if to say, “What’s his problem?”

“It’s been a bad night,” I tell him as I scoop him up. “Let’s take you out to potty.”

Wonton quickly does his business, and since it’s past dinnertime for him, he scarfs down his food the instant I set his bowl on the floor. I doubt Derrick is going to eat anything now, and the thought of food leaves my own stomach roiling, so I grab two cans of ginger ale from the fridge and a sleeve of graham crackers and take them up with me.

I find Derrick sitting on his side of the bed. His shirt is gone, and he’s in the process of taking his shoes off, but he seems to have frozen.

“I brought sodas and graham crackers.” I set both on the dresser, then step closer to him. “Why don’t you get a shower? It might make you feel better?”

He nods, his focus fixed on the floor, and shoves his hair back with long fingers.

“Do you want me to turn it on for you?”

Another nod.

I hesitate, surveying him, his hollow eyes, slumped shoulders, sagging cheeks, then head for the bathroom and get the water running. He’s still in the same position when I step back into the bedroom, so I kneel before him and untie his shoes, then slip them off. Once I’ve set them to the side, I rest my hands on his knees and rise up a little, finally garnering his attention.

“Tell me what I can do to help you? Please.” I’m not above begging. It hurts to see him like this, like a heavy weight crushing my chest. If I can help in any way, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

“I don’t know,” he says softly. “I just don’t know.”

Angling in, I kiss his cheek. “I’m going to check on Wonton. You get in the shower, okay?”

I hate leaving him there, but I need to make sure Wonton ate and let him out again in a few minutes.

“I’ll check on you in a few,” I tell him as I slip out of the bedroom.

Wonton’s bowl is empty, and as I pick it up, he wags his tail proudly. I clean it in the sink, and just as I set it on the drying pad, my phone vibrates in my back pocket. At first, I consider ignoring the call. I’m too drained. But I pull it out to check the display anyway, and when I see that it’s Via, I answer.

“Hey, how are you doing?” she asks.

“Okay, I guess.” I swallow past the lump that’s been lodged in my throat for hours. “It was scary, but I’m mostly worried about Derrick. He’s really out of it.”

“Reid said Brooks is probably his closest friend,” she says, her tone soft. “It’s understandable that he’s struggling.”

“You’re right. I just wish I knew how to help him.”

“Just be there for him,” she says simply. “That’s really all you can do.”

“I will be.”

Once we’ve said our goodbyes, I let Wonton out again, then head back upstairs. Derrick’s still in the shower, and under normal circumstances, I’d join him, but I don’t think that’s the right thing to do, so I opt to shower in the guest bath.

I feel like a new person, albeit still tired, when I get out and pull on my pajamas. I open the bathroom door to find Wonton sleeping on the floor, belly up. He startles, giving me an offended look, either because I disturbed his beauty sleep or because I locked him out of the bathroom. I’m not sure which.

The master bathroom is quiet, but light emanates from under the door, so I turn the TV on and flip through the channels until I land on an episode ofFriends. I figure that’s tame enough to have for background noise.

I’m a tad worried he might not want me in here tonight, but I don’t want to leave him alone. So I set Wonton on the bed, climb under the blankets, and listen to the quiet whir of his electric toothbrush.

Wonton eyes me from the foot of the bed, his head cocked in curiosity. He’s probably confused, since this entire evening hasn’t followed the routine we established months ago.

The toothbrush stops, the faucet runs, and then the light goes off.

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