Page 129 of Until Then

I press a hand to his jaw, relishing the sensation of his scruff. “Clearly.”

The door slides open, and we both turn to the doctor who’s stepping into the room.

I squeeze Derrick’s arm. “I’ll be outside.”

“No.” He grabs my hand and holds tight. “Stay. I want you to stay. Ineedyou to stay.”

The desperation in his voice has me softening, has the pain in my heart dulling to an ache. “All right. I won’t go anywhere.”

The doctor clears his throat as he approaches the bedside. “Mr. Crawford, your EKG came back normal, with no signs of a heart attack.”

The relief that floods me almost makes me feel lightheaded.

“Echo and x-ray were good,” he continues. “Your blood work is excellent. There’s nothing of concern.”

“I-I’m not,” Derrick sputters. “It wasn’t a heart attack?”

He shakes his head. “Your heart is fine. Given your rundown of the episode, I think it’s safe to say you had a stress-induced panic attack. To someone unfamiliar with panic or anxiety attacks, it can feel very much like a heart attack.”

Tears of relief spring to my eyes.

He’s fine.

He’s okay.

I can breathe now.

“We want to monitor you for another hour or so.” He looksat his watch. “If everything is still good then, we’ll get you out of here. Be sure to follow up with your primary care provider in about a week.”

“Thanks,” Derrick says, his cheeks pink. “This is… a relief. Embarrassing, too, but I’m glad it’s not serious.” With a heavy exhale, he fiddles with the thick blanket over his legs.

The doctor nods. “No need to be embarrassed. This kind of thing happens more often than you’d think. Try to take it easy. We’ll check on you again in about an hour.”

With a nod, he exits the room, closing the door behind him.

“I had a panic attack,” Derrick mutters with a self-deprecating laugh.

I run my fingers through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. “I’m glad that’s likely all it was.”

“Get in the bed with me,” he says, tugging on my hand. “I want you closer.”

“Derrick—” I protest, but he shakes his head forcefully.

“I need you here. With me.”

My heart stutters. Who am I to deny the man what he wants?

He gingerly scoots over, making room for me beside him.

Once we’re lying side by side, I rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. I’ve always loved the sound of it, but it’s even more precious now. I can only hope it beats this steady and strong for a very long time.

With a kiss to my temple, Derrick says, “The next time we’re in the hospital, it’s going to be because you’re having my baby.”

Eyes wide, I straighten and gape at him. “You want to have kids with me?”

He shrugs, pulling me close again. “I’m scared of startingover, but I love being a parent, and it’d be a privilege to do it with you.” He brushes his lips over my forehead. “What do you say?”

Laughing, I tap my fingers against his chest. “I think you better make me your wife first.”

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